Laura Mae, Youtube’s (Lose It Like Lauren) Has Lost The Weight But Still Struggles With Her Life And Unhappiness

Anyone who has been looking for weight loss tips, will likely have run across “LoseItLikeLauren’s” channel.  This young British woman has lost some 147 lbs, without surgery and without a program. She’s done this all on her own and is to be commended for her achievements, without doubt.

Lose It Like Lauren

First of all, I wish to express that I really like this young woman and her sense of humour about herself and her entire journey.  She’s truly an inspiration for people of all ages who wish to lose weight but more so, she’s a leader to look up to for the twenty to thirty-something crowd as she was in that age group when she began to lose weight but, now in her 30’s and still making videos weekly with regards to both how she started as well as how she’s kept it off.  In total, her journey has been about 6 years thus far and she’s documented quite a bit of it on Youtube.  Truly commendable.

Where Lauren has started to fall from grace in my opinion is in her obsession with her weight and, in keeping it honest, her lack of a life beyond her weight loss.  Lauren, herself has also commented that she has spent a good portion of the past 6 or more years of her life, focused on losing weight.  She has no job, lives with her mom still, gets depressed and has no lasting relationship in spite of being gorgeous, intelligent as well as intellectual and humorous.  In short, Lauren has created a life around her weight rather than herself and her life beyond weight loss.

For all intents and purposes, someone like Lauren who has focused on her preoccupation with her weight and turned it into her life’s purpose, begs the question of whether she focused on this weight loss because she could find nothing of substance otherwise in herself or her life?

While that may sound like an insult towards this young woman and her efforts, it’s truly not.  At this point in time, Lauren has not moved beyond her initial goal of losing that weight and helping others to do the same.  Her focus has remained on her weight loss even though she has long since lost what she set out to lose.  Though I get the idea that she’s simply trying to motivate and help others to do the same, Lauren has not much else going on in her life in pretty much everything else and has become depressed.  It’s highly likely that she’s also running out of ideas for weekly videos.  They have progressed into more or less whining or even speaking through her depressive, tearful and admission sessions.  Her channel has begun to sound more like a washed up star who is desperately trying to cling onto their glory days but is showing their age and unhappiness.

What’s most disturbing to hear is that Lauren speaks of her former heavier self in Third Person as though she’s totally detached herself from the Plus Sized woman that she was before her weight loss.  She giggles and laughs at herself in her early videos, referring to herself as “she” while crying over what she’s accomplished and how different she is.  At the same time, she’s admitting that she’s depressed, has no life, no job, no relationship and would love to travel, do art and photography but, it’s unclear whether she’s not doing any of this because she can’t afford it financially without working a full time job (something she seems unwilling to do) and while lounging around “mom’s house” as an un-working adult child.

There are a few things that watching Lauren’s videos have brought to mind that everyone should take to heart and think about.

Losing weight won’t make you happy unless you love yourself as you are right now.

There’s no doubt that losing weight is healthy if you’re overweight.  Not many people would argue that point.  However, if you’re thinking that losing weight is the Holy Grail towards feeling happy, think again.  Being slimmer can certainly bring you more energy and help you like yourself better but, it won’t solve all of your problems nor, make you love yourself if you don’t already.  As a matter of fact, you may spend all of your time and energy, putting it into your weight loss and thinking you’ll be happier if you’ve lost that excess baggage but, if you didn’t already love yourself before you started into your weight loss journey, you’re not going to suddenly adore yourself once you’ve lost all of the weight that you’ve set out to lose.  Weight loss adds to your love for self but, it doesn’t create it.  Hating yourself as is means that you’re not going to love yourself once you’ve lost that weight.  Many still see themselves as “the fat person” in spite of the scale, clothing label sizes as well as the mirror image.

You have to have a life and goals whether overweight or slim.

It’s likely obvious that Lauren is making some money off of her Youtube channel videos but, it’s reality that Lauren is not making enough money from that or her part time personal trainer’s position to move out from her mother’s home, sustain herself and she’s not able to sustain a romantic relationship.  No matter how much weight she’s lost, she’s still got issues because she didn’t set up goals for herself within her life or create a full life for herself while losing the weight or even once she had done so.

If you don’t have goals, ambitions or a life and keep those things up, adding to them, your weight loss isn’t going to bring you those things either.  You have to begin those things before, during and after you’ve lost the weight or, you’ll find yourself struggling with depression.  Weight loss is not a magic wand.  You are your own creator of your own show, life and purpose and, that is not dependent upon your weight unless you are so heavy that you can’t get out of a chair or walk out of your home.  Even then, you have to have goals for yourself and your life outside of losing weight.  It cannot be your sole focus as Lauren has done in her own life.

Sadly, we are a society that both adores slim and even thin people while we’ve become an increasingly overweight and even obese society.  Even those who are slim, seem to hate something about their bodies and themselves in this day and age of celebrities, thinness, red carpet looks and plastic surgery.  However to think that your life will be peachy-keen if you were to just lose that extra weight, is naive, false and won’t lead you any closer to being happy than staying heavier.  You may squeeze yourself into a size 0 or 2 now instead of a 20 or 22 but, your problems, issues, lack of self-love and relationships will still be there unless you, yourself, make the inner changes as well to invite happiness into your life.  One look at the celebrities who have had the plastic surgery, walking the red carpet with designer clothing and adoring fans who hunt them down for selfies and autographs will tell you to look beneath the surface.  Many of them, in spite of being stick and bone thin, dressed to the 9’s with seemingly everything at their finger tips, including admirers, have also been in therapy or are self-medicating themselves with prescription or street drugs and dealing with broken marriages, relationships as well as children who have run amok.  Self-love has to come before anything else can make you happy, including losing weight.

While, of course, I wish Lauren every happiness in this world, I also can see a young woman who now has to free herself from making herself, her life and who she is based on her weight loss. She has to venture out into the world and create a life of her own now.  Her weight loss is behind her and while much like an alcoholic, she will likely always have to work on keeping weight at bay, she also has to learn to love herself and move forward and away from her weight in order to be happy in her life now.  It’s just time from what I’m hearing from her in her videos.  She’s not a happy person in spite of losing an entire person’s worth of weight and won’t be contented until she reaches out into the world and does something she enjoys with herself and her life.

Remember: weight loss is a health issue but, it’s only an adjunct to happiness.  If you’re not a happy person to begin with, you’re not going to be a suddenly happy person once you’ve lost your excess weight.  You need to be happy with you as you are right now, at the weight that you are and success in weight loss adds to that happiness but, doesn’t create it.  At least, that’s the way that I’m seeing LoseItLikeLauren from my little corner of life.

Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) Can Get All of The “Hello’s” He Wants For What He Charges People

“Can I get a HELLO?” asks Youtube channel master, Infinite Waters (Diving Deep).  “And…we haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

RalphSmart

                              Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) 

Better known as Infinite Waters whose real name (or at least that’s what he calls himself) is Ralph Smart, is allegedly a psychologist who has found his niche in getting Youtube subscribers by going the Spiritual route, “breathing in that good ass prana.” I say allegedly because to date, there has been no proof of him being a true psychologist, registered or otherwise.  It’s only what he proclaims himself that the net world has to go by.  Most people don’t care so, who am I to care what everyone else does?

With some over 950,000 subscribers on Youtube, Smart seems to have found his niche finally.  Filming mostly in what appears to be a park somewhere, usually standing in front of a tree or has Weeping Willow branches grazing his face and head most of the time, Smart has managed to hook in nearly a million viewers and subscribers with his spiritual contented “solutions” to both life and personal issues and free formulaic videos on Youtube.

Smart admits that doing so, not only covers his monthly bills nicely but has left him not having to work a nine to five job.  Smart also offers private sessions on his website, along with his books, cd’s.  He also calls himself a, Cinematographer, Life Coach, Relationship Guide, Alchemist, and Infinite Being, things we can all call ourselves.

“PEEEEACE” he says, beginning all of his videos.

This calm, serene, happy looking Brit chap stops at least once or twice during his videos to turn his head to the side then back again, smile never leaving his face for the full 20 or so minutes he usually records.  Some have wisely picked up the fact that these motions and repeated phrasing are not simply Smart’s signature moves.  They are actually part of what’s called “Neuro-Linguistic Programming” or NLP for short.  One can learn the techniques easily without having to take any courses.

“Slow motion to this side….mmmmm,” Smart says, closing his eyes and mimicking an imitation of a camera slowing its shot.

Admittedly, Smart’s (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) first videos caught my eye a couple of years ago and I subscribed to his channel as nearly a million people have done now.  At that time and under the circumstances I was dealing with then, he somehow, made sense and got me hooked on his videos as he touched upon topics that most of us do struggle with to some extent or another, in one way or another for some piece of time in our lives.  I eagerly lapped them up, spending a couple of hours at a time, binge watching them.  Unfortunately, as time went by, it seems that Smart caught onto the idea that adding Spiritual elements to his videos, outweighed the psychological side of his alleged “psychologist’s” roots.  He, himself got on the mystical spiritual train ride and began spewing more and more Vegan spiels, where each of his videos are extolling (to some extent or another) the so-called virtues of becoming Vegan.  It all became far too New Age-y as well as trendy for me at this point and I unsubscribed having found solutions through other readings and research of my own.

It’s not that I am not spiritual because I am. I have also studied psychology in university and metaphysics as well as Quantum Physics but, don’t call myself any of these titles as I’m not certified to do so and, it’s my bet that Smart isn’t either.  (Please send me credible sources that prove that Smart is a registered psychologist with a PhD and has completed the necessary post grad training and licensing exam if you have it.  It’s nowhere to be found from what I can tell.  I’m open to credible source citations if you have it.)  It was more the point that I could see through Smart that he had finally, after several other failed attempts at film making, recording music etc., found a hook with which to grab in viewers and sell more of both his books, cd’s as well as those overly expensive “sessions” he sells to most often, vulnerable of people.

Of course, personally, if I had the kind of money required for one of Smart’s sessions and needed help, I’d much prefer to be spending it with a real face-to-face psychologist versus a Youtube video maker but, that’s me. Everyone else is free to do what they please, without doubt.  If it wasn’t evident because Youtube videos are free to watch except for bandwidth costs, Smart also makes money off of his Youtube channel as well.  The more subscribers, the more clicks he gets on those videos, the more he makes in every sense of the word as another Youtuber has explained it to me.  As Smart has said, he doesn’t want to work an “ordinary job” or 9 to 5 and wants his subscribers to feel the same.  Sorry to all of you out there who do work normal jobs as I do.  As I see it, if you didn’t do what you do and I didn’t do what I do to bring in a pay-check every week (writing is simply a hobby for me) everyone lived according to Smart’s ideals, the world would stop functioning.  There’d be no cars, no restaurants or stores, no garbage collection, no anything we have come to count on in Society but, I guess that’s ok for some people though I doubt it would be ok for Smart because he has bragged about being able to travel. Would there be pilots to take him where he wants to go? Isn’t that a regular job?  I digress though.  Again, that’s everyone’s prerogative to believe and follow whomever and whatever they want so, off of that soap box I go.

“Infinite Waters, Diving Deep, PEEEAAACCCCE,” Smart says in every video he does now.  Even a practising psychologist doesn’t make the 350 British Pounds Smart charges for an undefined 1 hour (psychology or spiritual or what…it doesn’t say) 1 on 1 Skype Session but, for those who can afford it and wish to do it, more power to you as it’s your choice, of course.  Have you found The Secret (a concept Author, Rhonda Byrnes has re-formulated from an old book of the same nature, given to her by her daughter that has her laughing all the way to the bank) and the concept of manifesting what you want into being by thinking it so that Smart also pushes in a quite a few of his videos as well?  Have you tried it?  Does it work for you?

For the kind of money that both Smart charges and likely makes as well as the millions of dollars that Byrnes has made on her books (though she’s been sued several times now as she didn’t give those who promoted her their shares and she lives very comfortably now thanks to them), they will both give you all of the hellos you can stand and send you a hug through the video camera while they’re at it.

Sadly, it’s not totally happy people who are watching Smart’s videos.  Like myself at the time that I first found Smart’s video channel, most people are struggling with something or other in their lives and looking for answers to those problems.  People like Smart and Byrnes give people hope in a mystical way that other professionals can’t seem to give them.  It may be bull droppings for some people but, for others, as long as they are given a form of hope, they will lap it up and some will even pay for it.  Smart knows it as does Byrnes.  I, personally found nothing of value in either of their approaches as nothing either of them have said or done is ‘new’.  Smart has said nothing in any of his videos that hasn’t been said by someone else in books on videos or elsewhere by other authors.  He’s not unique in my mind so, I quit watching him when I realized he was re-cycling older videos word for word, has formulaic scripts and contradicts himself.  That’s me though.  If others find him as a help, that’s wonderful for them.  We’re all Infinite Beings and Alchemists as well as psychologists after all.  At least, that’s the way that I’m seeing things from my little corner of life.  Everyone else is free to see it their way.

PEACE, Love and Light.

(Addition Jan. 25, 2017:  I will NO LONGER be posting, reading or responding to comments concerning Ralph Smart for several reasons, not the least which includes the responses that are threatening or raunchy. I fully recognize that this piece is not aligned with your thinking on Smart and perhaps, threatens you because of those beliefs or that it threatens to take away your life raft.  However, I have written hundreds of other pieces throughout the years that I’ve been writing this blog.   Please feel free to search for spiritually related and psychology related pieces I’ve written, read and comment on them. You just might find that we agree to disagree on Smart but, some other topic that I’ve written on, hits something within you too. It’s all FREE. No hooks. Thank you. )