I Wrote My Daughter An Apology But Is It Enough?

writing an email

 

I wrote an email  to my adult-daughter today.  It is sad that I cannot communicate with her in any other way after over 7 months of her estrangement from her father and I but, it was the only way that I can now communicate with her.  Even then, I am not sure that she will get it or read it but, again…there seems to be no other way as she will not pick up the phone when I call or respond to voicemail messages.

This is not the first “walk-off” that she’s pulled on us.  Actually, this is the third time and each time that she’s done this, it’s become harder and harder to hold back emotions and think rationally.  Part of me wants to scream, grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her while the other part keeps telling me that I must remain logical, rational and thinking versus being the angry, hurt, emotional wreck that I am.

All of this seems to have come about because of an extremely messed up man that she’s chosen to live with.  Her lifestyle is that of a teenager, living in a Frat house, smoking weed, living from paycheque to paycheque.  He has no drive nor ambition to get ahead in life or better their situation.  He talks a good game but, his actions are more telling.  There are none.  His motives are clear to see through as he has systematically worked on her mind to isolate her from everything and everyone who may threaten the safety of his control and relationship with her.  Gone are all of her friends and her family.  He barely works and when he does, it’s in a job that was created by his father who is now elderly and in his late, golden years.  This man sees his family when he does work because it’s a family business but, he has managed to get himself kicked out of his own family’s gatherings over not being able to smoke weed while in the company of family friends, in a dedicated smoking area.  Neither of them have family events that they will attend or can attend now.  Yet, they say weed is non-addictive.  Perhaps, that is so but, he has certainly proven that one can become dependent upon it.

Our daughter was raised quite differently than I was raised.  Having come from a family, riddled with alcoholism, I made a decision to never put her through the horrors of living with substance abuse and all that comes with it.  I got myself for counselling the moment I left the house and continued with therapy long after many of my family had died from alcohol related issues.  In short, I gave her everything that I couldn’t and didn’t get during my childhood and teenaged years of life.  She received love, support, praise, ego-boosting, self-esteem building and every advantage that we could afford to give to her so that she would have a great start in life.  It back-fired on us with the inclusion of a messed up, drug dependent jerk who worked on whatever he could to convince her that she belonged with him.

Today’s letter was one of “apology”.  I apologized on her father’s and my behalf (with my husband’s blessings).  We explained why we gave her so much and how it likely caused her to have issues with facing “the real world”.  She was handed everything we could afford to give her materialistically was well as emotionally.  It was probable that she had to face the realities of the harshnesses of a “cold world” unprepared because no one else would see her as we did and, how hard we figured it must have been on her to have dealt with the stark differences she must have faced.  I also explained that we still love her and that we wanted her in our lives but, that she also must understand that we are people too and we have boundaries which we should have set up much more strongly a long time ago.  We did her no favours by sheltering her from harshnesses.

It’s likely that she will allow The Jerk to read this email and it’s extremely likely that both of them will twist and turn the sincerity of those words that were written into some seething plot to control her or whatever else the two of them can cook up while smoking up.  I have little doubt that our thoughts and words will have the opposite meaning than we meant by the time The Jerk and she finish discussing it all and, we’ll still be back at Square One and without her in our lives.

Frankly, this was one last desperate attempt at letting our daughter know that she is loved, wanted and that we’ve been working on trying to find a way to deal with her choices but, also let her know that she cannot expect that we will always be able to support her decisions or lack of them.  It was also a last ditch attempt at letting her know that we know we weren’t “perfect parents” by any means of the word but, we tried and where we think we may have failed and why.  Should this email fail to convince her that we are sincere and still love her, making her re-think her stances and choices…I am done.  There is nothing more for either of us to say or do after this and it will have to be faced that we no longer have a daughter as part of our lives.  As a matter of fact, she is our only child so, we will have to accept the idea that we have no children in our lives.  That is beyond all comprehension for me as we both wanted children but, were only blessed with the one.

So, as she sits in the tiny, cramped apartment that is falling down around their ears, smoking hundreds of dollars worth of weed every month, debt up past their earlobes, him barely working, credit rating so bad that they cannot even get a lease on another apartment, her sleeping on a couch because he’s eating and snoring all night after his smoking-up all day, I can only hope that something, somehow, somewhere, clicks into her mind and she wakes up to what her choices have brought her from and led her towards.  I can only hope that all of those years of raising her the best way that we knew how and with all of the love, time, effort and energy that we put into her and her future will be remembered.  I can only have faith that the love we have given her, shown her and instilled with her, are still there.  There is no other thing to hope for than the idea that she still has enough love for us to not allow a totally messed up individual throw away over 3 decades of her life and all that went with it.  If she allows that to happen…sadly….she is lost and there is no choice but to give up on trying with her.  There’s only so much blood that one can swallow and only so many tears one can shed before reality has to set in.  That reality is that she is “gone/lost”.

My 60th birthday will creep up in July of this year (2016) and it’s as likely that I won’t have her around to celebrate it with me as it that she won’t be around.  I’ve seen 3 therapists who have tried to give me helpful suggestions.  I’ve tried them all and more.  As one of them has wisely said, “don’t give up hope”.  I am all but out of hope and this was my last try at hanging onto it.

From my little corner of life, I am trying to hang onto hope but, be a realist as well.  I cannot allow myself to be taken down totally.  I fought far too hard to allow what I’ve worked so hard to gain within myself, healing the scars left behind in myself from my own childhood and trying to live a life that is fruit-filled and productive to let it all slip away to a jerk and weed.  I will not allow either to take that from me.  I know what I’ve done, how hard I fought and how far I came.  Equally, I know that I was and am a Good Parent.  They cannot take those thoughts from me but, I struggle in hanging onto “hope” now.

 

 

Are The Gen Xers Partially To Blame For The Millennial Generation’s Issues

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Having finished listening to a whack of Ted Talk Youtube videos on “The Millennials” and why they are the way that they are, I’m exhausted.

In case you’re not familiar with the term “Millennials”, they are the generation of kids who were born from (some say) 1981 to 2000 or (in other cases) 1980 to the 1990’s.  It varies, depending upon where you get your information.  However, suffice to say, the “Gen Xer’s” or those born before 1960 and post WWII…are their parents and apparently, to blame for what bashing they have taken over their “ill actions” and “attitudes”.

Here comes the terms that Millennials hate the most, “entitled, lazy, narcissistic and self-centered”.   These are the labels that Millennials have been given in a widespread fashion or generality and Millennials hate them.

Only one question here, “who wouldn’t hate them?”

Well, as it turns out, a lot of the Millennials do portray tendencies towards narcissistic behaviours and attitudes.  They don’t like working jobs that they feel are “beneath them” as they “went to university and were FORCED to do so”.  They have respect but, for a lot of them, they respect themselves more than anyone else on this planet, including the Gen Xers/Baby Boomer parents who raised them, gave them love and care, housed and fed them and may still be doing so as well as sacrificed their own needs in order to send them off to college/universities all over the planet if they wanted to go.  We’re also the ones who bought them cars, cell phones and didn’t push them to get jobs flipping hamburgers or scrubbing down toilets to make any money that they could.  We did those types of jobs to help out our parents and they sucked.  Why make our precious children do that when we can grab another mortgage or work 2 jobs or go way beyond our retirement years to pay back the debt we got ourselves into for them so that they wouldn’t have to do those types of jobs?

Let’s not get too ahead by patting ourselves on the back just yet though.

Gen Xers/Baby Boomers ARE partially at fault for our children’s mental and emotional situations right now.  If we have narcissists on our hands who aren’t working and may be still living at home with us, it is our faults in a sense.  We raised them.  We taught them to be like this.  How can they help it?  It’s what we taught them to be.

Scratching your head yet?  Wondering where I am coming from?

First of all, we were the generation who decided that we weren’t going to be able to live “Leave It To Beaver” lives where June Cleaver stayed at home and cleaned house, cooked and served dinner in dresses, pearls and heels with a tiny, crisp white apron on.  We were the generation who had been part of a Women’s Liberation movement in one way or another and damn it….we were going to work too so that our generation could afford more than our parent’s generations could.  We were going to give our kids more than what we had and screw it…we were going to give our children a sense of self with esteem coming out their flipping little ears.

We read books on how to raise children.  Hell, we could have given birth to our own children if we’d wanted to through classes, books and instructional videos (albeit, VHS versions if we were lucky) on how to give birth.  We were determined to be THE best parents the world had ever seen from conception through until we ourselves, needed diapers in our old age.  Our children would never have to go without or hurt if we could help it.  The “Experts” all told us how to do this, right?

From Lamaze Class, back to work to raising a teenager who we scrimped and saved to send to college or university, we were parents and we did everything we could to make our kids happy and have a sense of self-esteem.  Gone were the days when people had to stay in marriages because the woman couldn’t afford to take their children and leave but, most of us stayed in our marriages because…we wanted a unified and balanced home life for our precious Millennial children….the next generation of well-adjusted, self-reliant, well educated, most privileged children we could possibly raise, even if it killed us doing so.

It was the Gen Xers/Baby Boomer generation who decided that giving children trophies, badges or some other reward for simply showing up or putting any effort into what they did was appropriate.  It was our generation who decided that “team participation was more important than winning” and gave them rewards for even being on a team of any kind.  Every kid made it into something, good, bad or indifferent.  Every child who tried, was recognized in a good way.  Every child’s self-esteem was boosted so that nothing was ever “wrong”.  At worst, it was a “good attempt but, try something else” type of stance.

Laws were changed so that youths were no longer punished as adults and that still stands in a lot of countries.  Schools adopted the “no touch or hands-off” approach and teachers were no longer even able to restrain an out of control child as that involved “touching”.  Principles called teachers into offices with parents there to crucify the teacher’s admonishment to little “Billy or Sue” because the teacher’s words “hurt their feelings and put them into a grave emotional state”.

“It’s unfair to our children,” we screamed at every turn of a corner and every chance we got to stand up for them while they played cruder versions of video games at home, on the couches (and we wonder why we have overweight issues with children now).

We sacrificed to buy them everything we could possibly afford to give them including cars, electronics, video games, and never pushed them.  Hell, we even pushed to have special help at school for them so that they wouldn’t feel left behind in any way.  If that wasn’t enough, our generation decided that every child should be pushed ahead a grade no matter what their grades so that they could be socially on par with the rest of their peer group and friends.

In short, it didn’t matter what the Millennials did or didn’t do, Mom and Dad as well as Society, were all behind them.  They couldn’t fail or do much “wrong”.

Is it any wonder that there’s an entire generation of kids, running around this world today who feel entitled to being handed everything?  Is it of any question that we have kids who feel that The Universe revolves or, should…around them and their wishes, needs and egos?  Furthermore, is it any real mystery why this generation had social issues where they’d back-stab one another if needed to get what they wanted?

These kids are now in their late teens/early 20’s through to their 30’s and we’re actually still bowing down to them because they demand it.  They’re unwilling to work jobs that are beneath their level of education and they blame us because we “forced them to go to university/college”.  They expect White Collar jobs because they trained for that, not blue collar work for the most part.  Those who are still able to get Blue Collar jobs are those who went into trades and they expect an extraordinary salary or they won’t work either.

Worse than anything, these kids have egos the size of a city block or bigger.  With heads stuck in cell phones and computers, on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and every other conceivable social media, they complain about the world and their lives.  They have zero respect for the most part for anyone else and boy are they opinionated!  They know it all.  We can’t tell them a thing.  As a matter of fact, the only thing they want us to tell them is that it’s ok to still stay living with us, well into their 30’s or more and what time dinner will be on the table for them so that they can get out with other Millennials who are doing the same things.

I digress though.  They are spoiled.  That’s the bottom line here.  We taught them to respect themselves more than anything or anyone else on this planet, including us.  We gave them everything and every benefit of the doubt and now, they feel entitled to everything or they will find something or someone else to blame for their lack of ability to deal with Life.  The sad thing is, they are right.  We ARE to blame.  We created little narcissistic monsters for the most part and it’s not easy to get them out of this state of thinking and being.

They are now adults or, at least, most of them are at this point in time.  They are old enough to understand a lot more than what we believe they should comprehend.  They are still our children…even if they are adults.  We still have the ability to teach them that we and Society aren’t always going to serve them everything on a silver platter or give them a trophy for getting up in the morning.  They are going to have to pick themselves up, dust their asses off and get moving in Life.  No…it’s not easy.  No…it’s not what they have been used to but, damn it…the world has changed and so must they change to suit it, not the other way around.

As a Gen Xer/Baby Boomer parent with an estranged Millennial-Adult-Child who blames everything and everyone, including her father and I for all of the woes in her life no matter what choices she’s made or not made, I have seen the damage that’s been done and I have taken a stance in changing that by no longer tolerating abuse nor in handing everything to her.  Her temper tantrums no longer work on us.  Her blame no longer works on us.  We may not see her or hear from her but, it’s much like taking someone from a cushy sofa and throwing them outside the door, into the world and saying, “someone’s got to teach you that you can’t keep on living this way!”  The soft approach hasn’t worked.  She’s a much stronger narcissistic, entitled, monster than we thought and it’s partially our fault.

Fix what we created if we can..at least….that’s the way that I’m seeing things from my little corner of life.

What are your thoughts on this matter?  Comment!  I’m listening.

 

 

Dirty Dancing: Did “Baby” and Johnny Stay Together?

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There are few movies that I absolutely adore but, if I had to name one, I’d have to say that “Dirty Dancing”, 1987 with Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey has to be my all time favourite.  Having watched the movie several dozen times, I know the lines before they are said and often quote them during opportunistic moments to be comical.

For those of you who know the movie, I’m sure that you have the same question that most of us were left with…

“What happened after that final night at Kellerman’s?  Did Baby and Johnny stay together or did they go their own separate ways?”

While it could have gone either way, I think the majority of us wanted to believe that Baby and Johnny did continue on after that and ended up happily wed with babes on their knees and adoring grandparents by the babies’ sides.

The other way it could have gone could have been that it was simply what it appeared to be…a “summer romance” that ended or faded away shortly after that Labour Day Weekend where Johnny went back to dancing or into the trade of painting and plastering and Baby went to college then, into the Peace Corps, Daddy still loving her.

There’s really 2 reasons why it might have been left open ended like this.

The first and most likely reason is that the writers and producers decided to take artistic license and leave it up to the viewer’s imaginations thus, making it whatever the viewer wanted it to be.  Nice way to please everyone, isn’t it?

The second reason might have more to do with the idea that if they left it open ended, there was room for a potential future sequel where fans of the movie could catch up with Johnny and Baby to find out whether they were together or had drifted apart and were coming back together again.

Either way, there was the possibility that everyone could be pleased.

Frankly, I always held the ending that Johnny and Baby did continue their romance beyond that summer.  That’s just my imagination, of course but then again, this was a fictional piece from someone else’s imagination.

What I didn’t know until about an hour prior to writing this piece was that there was an ending that gave up that answer.  They chose to leave it on the cutting room floor for likely the reasons that I have given above.

To watch this deleted scene with the answer, WATCH HERE.

Ending this here as there will never be a sequel done to Dirty Dancing with Patrick Swayze since he had sadly passed away in Sept. of 2009 with Pancreatic Cancer, I will leave all Dirty Dancing Fans with this famous and probably the best, most beloved and remembered scene in the entire movie, filled with symbolism and romance that still sweeps women’s hearts away….THE FINAL DANCE SCENE TO “DIRTY DANCING”.

Feline Diabetes And Taking Care of Self

My cat was diagnosed as being diabetic last year and I’ve been giving her insulin shots and testing her blood glucose the way that one would do as a human ever since.  My life has been wrapped around this little fur ball’s numbers, tests, shots, food and careful watching and recording ever since. As a matter of fact, it’s become an obsession that strikes fear into my gut like I’m standing on top of a girder 100 ft in the air, looking down to the ground.  Let’s face it, taking care of a diabetic cat is a tough and rough road to go down. Anyone else who has had to treat and care for a diabetic pet whom they love like a family knows that our lives have been turned upside down in the blink of an eye too and, it’s not easy on any of us to have the responsibility of taking care of a much loved feline family member.

From the moment that we hear the diagnosis that our baby has diabetes, we are in shock mode. In a few short minutes, many of us are simply handed some printed sheets (if that much), given a quick lesson on how to inject insulin, a prescription for insulin, told to feed them some over our heads in cost prescription food from the vet’s shelves and told to head to the pharmacy/drug store/Walmart to pick up what we need. We don’t even get time to adjust mentally and emotionally to the situation until we’ve run around like chickens with our heads cut off, getting what our newly diagnosed furry family member needs to have his/her diabetes taken care of and, it’s only once we are once again at home that the panic sets in as we sit there with some pretty frightening stuff in front of us, not knowing if we can even do this, let alone how.

For many of us, we will flounder through the first day or two of trying to get an injection into our babies. With trembling hands, we apologize to our babies and stick them with the syringe that we’e agonized filling scrupulously to the marks on the syringes. OUCH! we think to ourselves as we stick them and most of us, will cry as we do it because we hate “hurting” our loved ones in any way.

As the days set in and the shock wears off, we decide that we’re going to learn more about this condition and do some research on the net. The more we learn, the more we realize we don’t know and that becomes even more frightening and overwhelming.

Of course, many of us will find the Feline Diabetes Discussion Board site. “Oh boy! There’s hope? There’s a chance that they will revert? There’s help? There’s OTHERS dealing with this? I’m not alone? I can talk to others who will help me?” As quickly as our fingers will type, we sign up and BOOM…we are amongst friends and there’s information galore to read and to get to know. Darn it though…we are intelligent people so, we will learn it, right? More than anything, people in here seem to know what they’re talking about, are extremely knowledgeable and will help more than our vets have, can or will, right?

So, with that in mind, we start off learning everything we can about Feline Diabetes and we may even make some posts or, if we’re totally feeling lost and overwhelmed, we’ll just post our frustrations and fears on the boards, hoping for other members to throw us a life saving ring somehow.

As the weeks go by, we learn to shoot the insulin we were told to shoot, given tips on how to do it, what foods to feed (not necessarily the bag or cans of food that we bought from the vet that cost us an arm and a leg), how to test, to set up a spread sheet (usually with the help of a member in here who has generously given up their time to help us all to do it). We’ve learned trick, tips and hints that our vets never took the time to give us and we make friends in here…even if only as a group and not individuals.

But, here comes the kicker. No 2 diabetic cats will react in the exact same way and for some, there are other health issues involved as well that separate each cat even further. We quickly realize that there aren’t many “text book cases” and we consult our vets whose opinions vary greatly from one to another, confusing us even further from what we’ve now learned and committed to memory. We may even find that our vet’s opinions differ greatly from what this forum and its more knowledgeable members have told us. Who do we believe now? What do we do? We’re feeling again, overwhelmed because we’re vacillating between what we’ve learned here and what our vets are telling us to do. Another internal battle ensues as the vet admonishes us that he/she is “The Authority” and “right” yet, we’ve learned everything we know from these boards and other members, dealing with diabetic cats and all of their knowledge about diabetes in specific, not our vets usually. Anxiety, guilt, anxiety, dread, anxiety, inner struggle anxiety. Now we’re afraid to leave our cats alone, watching them day and even all night, typing in numbers onto spread sheets that some vets won’t even look at as they don’t believe in home monitoring or in the amount of changing dosages that is done, without them telling us what to do. Do we risk ticking off our vets? After all, we have to rely upon them for other issues and prescriptions. What to do? More anxiety!

On top of that, we are now no longer able to go out freely or even away on vacations or needed trips because we worry endlessly about our Sugar Kitties at home or who will take care of them should we be unable to do so. Our days and nights revolve around these little fur balls and we feel like we’re doing “less than” our best if we don’t follow what others are following in here or, worse…our vets are ticked off at us. Everything in our days now become about blood glucose numbers, shot times, feeding times, foods, watching every move and wondering if they’re going to go “Hypo” on us. Yes, that word strikes FEAR into our minds with such a vengeance that we often miss events and even a lot of sleep because we’re either monitoring our fur babies or we’re worrying about them and what we don’t know. We’re totally obsessed with it now and neither our cats nor us, are really living a quality life anymore. We are no longer people with lives but, we’e become Feline Diabetes Caregivers. Another cry, another anxiety attack, another set of questions running through our minds.

First of all, our feline family member’s diabetes has to be important to us but, we also need a life too. Easier said than done given everything we now know about it all. We know testing is an important part of taking care of our cats so, we’re doing that but, are we doing it too much? Is there such a thing? Can we test and record too much or too little?
Secondly, there’s a distinct line between what vets will tell us to do and what we will learn in here to do. What to believe? Who/what do we follow?
The answers to this lay within you and your lifestyle in my humble opinion and experience. There is no “right or wrong” in how we deal with this as long as it’s what’s right for us and our feline diabetes patient. We love them and we want them around for as long as we can possibly can with as much health as we can. But, there’s a few key questions that I think we all need to ask ourselves.

What are we truly willing to do, how much and realistically, how much can we handle? Remember that just as Every Cat Is Different (ECID), every human is different and everyone’s lives are different, with differing degrees of ability, time and responsibilities. That means that every cat is going to react differently and be either more or less tolerant than the next or even every other cat in here. We need to learn OUR limitations as well as theirs. What 30 people in here can do with their cats, may be pretty difficult with our own cats. That does NOT make us less capable than the 30 others or less effective. It only makes it us and our cats and the differences between us all. That’s quite the equation to deal with. We can all only deal with our own set of circumstances, not everyone else’s. Trying to be like “everyone else” is a set-up for anxiety, sleepless nights and avoiding leaving our homes…at least without a great deal of angst.

Knowing how far you wish to take what’s offered in the site and what YOU can deal with. Keeping the above in mind, take into account your level of “nerve” and your lifestyle. Remember that those who shoot down to lower numbers, are doing so because they feel that they are able to get their cats to do so more easily than perhaps, you can for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which includes your own anxiety/stress levels. Some people handle it all more clinically while others are a mess emotionally already because of other factors in their lives. The lower one tries to bring their cat’s numbers, the more testing that will need to be done. Don’t feel like a “Less Than” because others are testing 9 to 10 times in a day and getting their cat’s blood glucose levels down into the nice green numbers and keeping them there and you can’t handle going that low or the required testings (or your can’t won’t allow it without turning you towards taking up drinking or sedatives.) That is their level of comfort. Yours may be different. Don’t feel guilty. You are already doing more than a lot of diabetic cat parents would do so, pat yourself on the back for it and leave it there.

No one there is a vet and you still need to work with a vet for your feline family member’s health in all other areas as well as the diabetes. There are some “bad apples” in the vet world, no doubt Not all vets were created equally so, it’s important to find one that YOU can talk to when you need to and will be there for you almost as much as they’re there for your pets. Ticking them off by arguing things out because you’ve read this or that here, doesn’t help you or your pet. If you’ve found a vet that you click with and your vet is there for you and matches YOUR philosophies/thinking….listen to them too and don’t argue it out. Know where they stand on this issue but, follow your own gut given what they are telling you to do or not do. Not many vets will agree with what is being taught here, in totality. Recognize that fact and realize that there’s “compromise” between what you’re learning here and what your vet will likely give advice to do. Find your own ground but, do listen to what your vet is telling you and ask questions of him/her as well. Again, NO ONE here is a vet but, they have a lot of learned knowledge which doesn’t make them right and your vet wrong or vice versa. Go with your own level of tolerance.

Give yourself a break and don’t compare yourself to everyone else in there. Once again, every cat is different and every pet caregiver’s levels of tolerance as well as lifestyles are different so, give yourself a break from the never-ending beating you’re giving yourself. You’re trying your best and doing your best. Even finding this site means that you care enough to learn as much as you can to help your feline baby. What others can do, you may not be able to do for all sorts of reasons. Do what YOU can, to the level that you can and don’t compare yourself to everyone else. For every person in these forums, there’s 10 more feline diabetes caregivers who are NOT here and doing far less than you are likely doing while being in here, given all of the knowledge that’s available to everyone here. Your life and tolerance levels are YOUR life an tolerance levels and NO ONE should judge you on that, including YOU. So, stop, breathe, think about your limitations and abilities, pat yourself on the back for what you ARE doing and let go what isn’t for you or your cat without feeling guilty about it.

Diabetes can’t be “forced” into remission if it’s not meant to go that way. People often come into that site, seeing the “OTJ stories” (Off The Juice/insulin) and think “if I can follow all of this…I can force my cat into remission too and off of the insulin.” For SOME…that is true but, for others, it isn’t. Some cats, once diabetic, will always require insulin to some degree or another because of genetics or some other reason. For others, they were forced into diabetic status because of foods or illnesses or medications. They are more likely to go into remission with proper care and giving their pancreas a break/rest. Those are the cases where they were going to come out of it anyways with full care. Don’t feel that because your cat hasn’t been able to come off the insulin, you’ve somehow done something wrong or haven’t followed the protocol. Pushing your cat down to low, low numbers and keeping them there, may or may not bring them out of needing insulin but, it’s certainly a “risk” that you are taking if you’re unable to do as much monitoring as those caregivers can. Be realistic with yourself because there is NO real and hard fast rules that will bring your cat OTJ. What isn’t meant to be isn’t going to be no matter what you do. It can’t be forced but, you can up the chances by following this protocol *IF* you can tolerate trying and have the nerve to try. There’s NO guarantees though one way or another. Remember that you need a life as does your cat so, be realistic as to how far you’re willing to take this and try. It’s ok if you can’t do this exactly as the protocols call for. This is a set of protocols set up according to a small study, not The Golden Rule or Ten Commandments or a “Do A, B and C and you’ll come out with D” type of situation.

Most of all, take care of YOU. Without you, your cat doesn’t stand a chance of being healthy for long. Without you taking care of them, they wouldn’t thrive from treatment. YOU need to be healthy in all ways too so, remember to relax a bit and take care of yourself too. It’s important that you keep that rule above everything else that you learn and have learned. KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS AND BE REAL ABOUT THEM WITH YOURSELF.

Best of wishes from my little corner of life.  (And, yes…I still have panic attacks and my vet is ready to have me put in a psych ward at times. I’m learning my tolerance, lifestyle, nerve and other limitations as I go along this road too.)