Readers Only Want To Read About Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep)

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Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) From Youtube

I’m sitting here with a blank screen in front of me.  It’s not because I hadn’t thought of anything to write but, more to the point that most pieces that I do write, seem to go un-read.  Most readers coming in are in search of specific topics.  I almost wish that I didn’t have the stats to look at as it shows me that most people are only coming into my blogs (yes, I have more than one) to read about a couple of topics.  The main searches seem to be on Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) whereupon, I end up receiving some nasty comments about how they think I am a “dude” where I am female, how “salty, bitter and jealous” they think I am over good ole Ralph.  There’s swearing, ranting, raving and everything your eyes and mind don’t want to be bothered reading or seeing.  They’re not even publishable comments for the general reader because of their tone and especially, wording.

Sadly, none of these commenters have gone on to read anything else that I’ve written to truly get a feel for who I am as a writer.  Of course, it goes without saying that no one can know me as a person because they’ve read one or two of my pieces (especially on the sole or same topic) yet, these types of people think that they can analyze me as a person, based solely upon my opinion on one topic then, proceed to let me know their diagnosis in often-times, not so nice terms.  Had they spent one-sixty-forth of the time that they spend watching the plethora of Youtube videos that Smart puts out every week, reading some of my other pieces, they likely wouldn’t have arrived at the same conclusion. Alas, they don’t.  They read, write their armchair psychological opinions of me and run, never to grace my writing again.  While that fact astonishes me, it also saddens me at the same time.  If they were to have spent the time to read my inspirational as well as spiritual pieces, they may have seen another side of me and had a different opinion of me.  They don’t.  They never go that far and it shows greatly in their comments.  It’s also indicative of those who have swallowed Smart’s rhetoric, hook, line and sinker but, have learned little spiritually, mentally or otherwise.  That speaks volumes for how much good Smart has actually been doing with his mountain of videos in my mind.

On several different occassions, I have considered removing my pieces on Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) but, as I’ve gone to hit the “delete” on those posts so as not to have to endure any further abusive comments, I realize that they are my opinion on this person’s Youtube and social media presence and I have a right to voice it.  Yes, obviously, people don’t like it when I am not thinking of Smart as the best thing since sliced bread or God and prefer that I praise him to the hilt however, that’s not how I felt or feel about his incessant marketing of himself and services nor, his highly likely false labelling of himself. He’s doing what he does for the money, not out of pure love or the goodness of his heart though it’s seemingly that way because one can watch his videos for free, right?

For those who don’t understand what I’m saying or have been saying still, I’ve done the research on the topics that I write about.  While they are my opinion on the topics, I have background information on what I am saying or I wouldn’t be saying it and, though they may not be what others think or feel, my thoughts on the facts that I’ve gathered are not cause for such disdain in these pop-by reader’s comments.  There’s a reason people are searching with search engines for more information on Smart and a reason why they are having a hard time finding what they are looking for.  Besides Smart’s self-promotions, they’re not likely to find much else other than my pieces written here on Smart.  Perhaps, that angers them and I get the brunt of their frustration?  However, there’s a reason why these readers won’t find much at all on Smart other than his own promotional jags.  He has ever so wisely ensured that he only lets out what he wants the public to see about him (aka advertising) and nothing more.  It took a lot of digging and contacting sources on my part to find pieces of information that these readers and commenters wouldn’t have otherwise found and, even there, I have only been able to unearth enough of what makes Smart tick but, that’s how Smart wants it to be.  There’s good reason for it as well.

By the way, I am still inviting anyone with any concrete and reliable source citations to prove that Smart is truly a certified “psychologist” as he claims himself to be.  I’m open to it if you have it and, it might change my mind somewhat as to what Smart is all about.  That’s a challenge by the way to those who mouth off then run.

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Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep)-ism 

Yes, people are entitled to their own opinions.  I am the first to admit that as I do it all of the time.  However, having said that, watching Smart on Youtube every day with his plethora of videos, does not tell anyone the story that lays behind this young man’s motives.  His smile, calming voice, nature scenes he generally films in, willow or other tree branches grazing his face while he speaks about “the cat down the road” and utters canned and coined phrases in each video, do have a somewhat calming effect.  He’s learned what sells, what gathers an audience of mostly young, impressionable, lonely and lost people into the folds that he’s gathered.  As I’ve said before, it’s not much different from a cult-like following.  While he may not get you to drink cyanide laced Koolaid, he’s trying to suck people into eating Vegan instead.  Deadly?  Maybe not, maybe yes…if not done properly.  He doesn’t go that far, does he?  He doesn’t give out information on how to eat Vegan safely with the proper supplements or foods to obtain the nutrients needed for the human body which is meant to be omnivores versus herbivores, is he?  That’s because he’s not a trained nutritionist or dietician, is he?  Yet many of his faithful viewers will attempt to cut out flesh-eating and anything produced from it, without regard to the long-termed effects of improper Vegan Style eating.  Instead, they will chow down on strawberries, acai, quinoa and vegetables, thinking that they’re getting all of the nutrition they need to be “spiritual” and healthy.

“Seven Day Vegan Challenge, Baby,” he’ll say in every video somewhere (the “baby” is sometimes left out as the only variation).  “Slow motion this side,” and “we ain’t even had breakfast yet.”  See how catchy his phrasing is?  “PEEACE”  “Can I get a HELLOOOO?”  Take a look at one of his earlier videos HERE.  Not so calm sounding, is he? Does he still hold the same attraction for you that he does now?

Smart is cliché.  He’s no different from any other self-proclaimed spiritual guru.  He’s simply got a Youtube channel where people think because they watch it for free, this young chap or “cat” knows what he’s talking about.  Let me ask though, how much crap is there on the net that you wouldn’t swallow if honey were added to it?  There’s plenty of it to go around.  We could all take out shovels for the manure. That’s being said with a chuckle not a frown or grinding teeth.  The problem is, it’s hard to sort through and sift out the crap from the valuable information, isn’t it?  How do we know the difference except to experience its effects the hard way and learn from it all?

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Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep?) True Intentions And Goals Are To Only Eat Good Food and Travel

When he says that he’s been doing anything “for a long, long time”, ask yourself how long he could have been doing anything, including “helping millions of people” or “through his ‘early journey'” when he’s just turned 31 years of age?  How long could that have been in all reality?  Then, go back to Youtube and take a look at when he started his Youtube channel.  Do the math for yourself.  Use your own mind for a moment on his statements and what you cannot find out in information about him (purposely done as a marketer who only wants you to know what he wants you to know).  Ask yourself some key questions as I believe you are intelligent enough to do.  If you are wise, you’ll come up with more questions than answers but that one will have been answered using your own mind, not simply swallowing what Smart is telling you to believe or wants you to trust blindly.

From my little corner of life, I see Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) as part of those who will fill their needs and pay their bills by having their own angle as a sales person and marketer.  Before you go writing to me to tell me that I’m bitter, wrong, angry, spiteful, jealous, wanting to be like him but can’t, a “hack” and even a racist because he’s black (yes, I have been called that but, he has no colour to me nor does anyone else), I’ve heard it all before.  Save your breath and your time because you cannot say anything that hasn’t already been said in one way or another on this young man or this topic.  Save it and comment love to him instead please or spend that time, reading other pieces I’ve written on other topics.  I won’t be reading it or responding to it if it’s simply another “hate comment” as it shows me what type of person it’s coming from rather than anything that would be of any lesson or value to me as a writer, person, spiritual being or as Smart would say, Alchemist and Infinite Being.  Yes, we are all alchemists and infinite beings.  Smart doesn’t hold the title on that alone.  If you take nothing else away from my pieces, take that as truth about yourself and, you don’t even have to be a “Deep Diver” to be that much.  You already are those things.

Be well.  Love and Light.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spiritual Awakening/Enlightenment Doesn’t Mean Loving Everything Or Everyone

Contrary to what the mass of society tends to believe nowadays, the term “Spiritual Enlightenment/Spiritually Awakened” does not mean loving everyone and everything, never feeling negativity or dislike towards someone or something.  It also does not mean that one has to speak with kindness always either nor, does it mean that when someone lashes out at something or someone, that they aren’t spiritually enlightened or awakened.  On the same hand, plastering a smile upon one’s face constantly, getting into a Zen Pose, speaking calmly and perhaps, even in New Age Terms, also does not mean that someone is Spiritually Enlightened or Awakened.

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One is not religious necessarily because they go to church every week and donate money to the collection plates being passed around.  The physical body being in a building, deemed as a church, synagogue, mosque or whatever religious building it’s been deemed each week and taking out of one’s wallet, does not a religious person make.  Equally, a clergy person, standing at the front of a religious building, dressing the part and proclaiming to be a member of the clergy, also does not necessarily point to a religious person even though religious words are coming out of their mouths. Being a clergy member or a religious person also does not mean having to love everyone and everything, or always spewing out positivity towards everything and everyone.

One need only look as far as the Evangelists who have been caught, taking money under fraudulent guises in the name of “God” before one can find an example to cite.  Though their words spoke the right language and their images were those of Holy men and women, their actions spoke loudly that they were charlatans.  Week after week, they’d produce or pour out television or radio programming and pack churches to the rafters with worshippers who believed in their Biblical teachings and their words that promised healing in one way or another.  Millions watched their television sets each week and some, every day.  Yet, their intentions were no more “God” based or religious than the grifter on the street, taking money from people to play the cup and ball game.  The right words and smile can carry desperate people a long way towards belief.

A few questions needs to be asked.

Would a Spiritually Enlightened/Awakened person allow someone that they see as a charlatan or false “profit” continue on, put a smile on their face, without saying anything against that person, putting no effort into attempting to warn others?  Or, would they speak their feelings?

Sadly, Society in general is becoming lost to the quacks of the world who are out to take, take and take some more for their own profit.  Although, they appear to be doing “good deeds”, giving something for free, appear to be being kind-hearted and helping others, if looked at closely, one can see that the only good these people are doing is for themselves and their own wallets.  The Evangelists who have been caught are one such group.  They are no more trying to help others than they are trying to pad their wallets.  They simply found and used the “hook-in lingo”, the desperate and gullible audience needed and they learned how to use it all together well….some to the tune of millions of dollars bilked from people who were gullible enough to fall for it all.  Thankfully, there were others who called them out on it and some of these Evangelists have done or are, doing jail time for it. There are many others out there who are doing the same thing in different media and different ways.  It’s still the same horse, different breed and the internet is so filled with them that people need to open their own minds and think for themselves first.  The net is easy pickings when someone or many will fall for the bait.

In this case, who was more “spiritually enlightened/awakened”?  The person bilking the money out of people’s wallets or, the ones exposing them?  Think about that for a moment.  I’m sure the answer is clear.

If someone claims that they are something or someone that they’re not but, does so in a pleasing fashion, does that make them who they pretend to be or, does it make those who believe it all, having been taken for a ride?

At first glance at this statement, it would appear that it’s the fault of the con-man.  He did a number on people who were likely wanting to believe that person.  However, on second thought, were those people to have been more awakened and enlightened, they likely couldn’t and wouldn’t have been duped in the first place.

So, whose fault is it really?

Likely, the answer is both to some level or another.  While that might sound cynical and harsh to have said, the truth is, those who fall for a con-man’s game, are usually not thinking clearly enough to have asked themselves questions that would make them second-guess their trust in this person.  Desperate people, do desperate things and want to believe someone who seemingly has all of the answers they are seeking.  Were they to be less in need, they likely would have listened to that little voice inside their guts, telling them that something was amiss in all of this.  Unfortunately, people when desperate, aren’t likely letting this little voice come through as it should and they fall prey as victims to such people.  There’s plenty of these frauds out in this world, out to make it by stepping on other people especially, desperate people’s backs.

“But, I’m getting it all for FREE!  I’m not paying a cent and it’s helping me,” some will claim.

It’s prudent to ask yourself if you really are getting it for free.  This is especially true of people who are trying to sell you something on the internet.  You may not ever take a penny out of your pockets to give that person however, that doesn’t mean that the person isn’t making a decent buck off of each time you click onto one of their “free” offerings.  More to the point, you are paying something to this person from within yourself.  Think about that for a moment, please.

Of course, it goes without much fan-fare or saying that it’s the con-man’s fault for bilking others out of something to get what they want. That’s a given even if that person truly thinks “what’s the harm?  I’m getting what I need and people are getting what they want.”  The fact is, they are  not who they claim to be and they are not giving you what you think you are getting.  No one wins in this scenario though you may not be able to see it.  Worse, no one is spiritually awakened/enlightened by someone who is simply playing a part and making money off of it while others are being drawn into their schtick.

Who can spot these charlatans better than the desperate or those in need of spiritual help?  

Generally, someone who is spiritually devoid or seeking spiritual guidance, is better prey for these types of people than those who are more spiritually awakened.  The reason is fairly simple.  Those who are spiritually awakened or enlightened, will be less likely to be desperate enough to fall for the games of people like this.  They will often see right through the charade that is being put on.  Their gut feelings as they are often called, are more finely tuned and they will pick up the nuances that the desperate or those in search of and in need of, awakening and help will be.  The awakened/enlightened will more quickly pick up on the crap being spewed out with a gut feeling that something is not right about what is happening.  They will question it and seek out truths first.  Even if they themselves, fall for the con-man’s actions, they will rather more than quickly figure  out that there’s something fishy about the entire thing.  If enlightened enough, they will call it out and not simply walk away.

Sadly, those who do call these quacks out on their crap, are often the ones who will take the brunt of criticism from those who are seeking out something from these charlatans as they don’t want their hope to be knocked down.  They have put these self-promoters on a pedestal for saying the right things and seemingly resonating with something within them.  They don’t want to see their hopes shattered.  It’s akin to someone telling them that what they perceive as a life boat, is nothing but a water logged tree limb that will sink the moment that they see it for what it is and look for some other way to keep afloat.  They don’t want to hear it and they will call the person down who has tried to warn them.  It’s part of desperation in human nature but, that’s what the con-men are banking on and using to fulfill their own needs.

Should a Spiritually Awakened/Enlightened person speak only well of someone or something that they can see is taking from others? 

When someone speaks out in a not so loving way about someone that they see is taking advantage in one way or another of others for their own purposes, is it best that a Spiritually Awake/Enlightened person smile and only speak well of the thief or, should they speak out about what they are seeing and feeling?  Would you rather that person go on taking from others and perhaps, you if you let them?

As stated earlier, being spiritually aware, awake and enlightened doesn’t mean acting as though Sainthood has bestowed a vow of love and silence upon them.  As a matter of fact, a spiritually aware, awake and enlightened person is likely more sensitive to the guises that are coming from these types of acts, ranging from unkind and self-serving and leading up to criminal intent and will pick up on it sooner rather than later.  They will likely not be selfish enough to keep silent when they see what has been happening. Something inside of them will nag until they finally feel the need to speak out about it in the hopes of saving others from what they perceive to be happening.  Sadly, they will likely also have to take the brunt of criticism for having done so and perhaps, called names along with accusations that are not fitting their intentions in the first place.

Many of these charlatans will use what they know best about people to get what they want while the true spiritually evolved will recognize their methods and call them out on it.  Is that right or wrong to have done? 

Would a witness to a crime be a hero if they shut their mouths about what they saw happening or would they be a hero for coming forward and helping others capture the criminal?  The rest of this question speaks for itself and is one that everyone needs to ask themselves first and foremost.  Just because they don’t see a crime happening, doesn’t mean one isn’t taking place, does it?  In the same manner, people falling victim to someone who has their own best interests at heart but can’t see it, will call those who do see it, down.  Sad but true.

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Even Jesus upturned tables in fits of anger at those who would take from others in an unfair manner.  Would one call Jesus “unenlightened, unawakened and spiritually bereft”?

I will leave this piece here.

Be well.  Love, Light and Blessings.

 

When Your Adult Child Becomes Abusive

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If your adult child or children were anyone else on this planet, would you allow them the leeway that you are giving to your abusive child or children?

Tough question to answer, isn’t it?  Part of that is because we have that “bond” with our child or children as a parent that supersedes any other relationship that we can have or have had in our lives.  Love is blind as they say so, we often blindfold ourselves to the three dimensional view of our child or children.  We can see glimpses of their flaws and faults but, that’s as much as our guilt will allow us to see.  It’s nearly impossible for us to be as fully objective about our own child or children as we may be able to be with other people.

The word “guilt” was used for good reason. As parents, not only does the love we have for them become overwhelming and blinding but, we tend to tie our own self-worth into our child or children.  The moment we dive deeply into being critical of our own flesh and blood that we brought into this world or even adopted from someone else’s womb, we tie ourselves to that child or children in a way that we cannot tie ourselves to anyone else on this planet.  A put-down of our child even from our own minds and whether we gave birth to them or not, is oftentimes, felt as a put-down upon ourselves as both parents as well as who we are in general as people.  If our child or children are not doing well in life or is somehow “flawed”, we can unconsciously or even consciously, figure that it’s our faults.  We can leap to the conclusion that somehow, we have failed as parents and therefore we are also flawed as people in one way or another.

Not everyone will completely blame themselves for their child’s failures in Life.  Some parents will be able to see that our children have made choices in friends or groups that they’ve chosen to hang around and blame them instead of ourselves.  However, somewhere, deep down inside of us, there’s still a feeling of somehow being imperfect as a parent because our child or children have made those choices whether we’ve discouraged it or outright forbidden it or not. On some level or another, we feel “guilt” in one capacity or another and can tear ourselves to shreds as both parents as well as people.

This then leads us back to the question of whether or not we would allow any other human being to treat us the way that we allow our adult children to treat us.

First of all, were someone else to be treating us with any level ranging from disrespect to outright abuse, we’d likely toss those people from our lives to some extent or another, for some time frame or another or, more likely, until there was at least a sincere apology from that person.  If it was a long-termed thing, we’d likely walk away and not look back.   With family, it’s not quite that easy.  We can even find ourselves being victims as adults to poor treatment from our own parents and siblings out of a feeling of obligation and duty.  However, having said that, we can also come to a point where we begin to distance ourselves either somewhat or totally from them and their abusive or manipulative ways.  Friends or others in our lives are even more likely to be walked away from under these circumstances.  Our children are not quite as easy to distance ourselves from because of the above and for other reasons.

There is likely few people that we put more of ourselves into than we do with our child or children.  Even as adults, we are still invested in many ways in our children’s lives and well-being.  After all, isn’t that our job?  At least, that’s what we may reason with ourselves but, the answer to that is a resounding “no” once our children become adults and, we don’t need to continue to allow them to use, abuse or treat us poorly once they have become adults.  Our “jobs” are done.  We gave birth to them, loved them, raised them, gave them what we could reasonably give them and we supported them in more than a roof over their heads.  There are exceptions of course in the parenting world to this but, we’re talking about the average parent here, not those who were abusive to their own children or neglectful in any way.

There are a few things to take into consideration in how parents can deal with their adult-abusive or even estranged child (a topic that not many sites will deal with).

Your influence over your adult child was watered down many years ago.

We all like to think that we still have some sort of power or control over our children’s lives once they are adults.  For some, this is true but, for the most part, our influences over our child, all of our teachings, morals and values that we feel we’ve instilled into them, was long ago watered down by the influences of many other people in our children’s lives as they grow.  We are no longer their sole source of influence.  Peers, bosses, teachers and society in general, also including technology as well as entertainment venues, have taken over the largest portion of what affects them or doesn’t affect them once they are adults and have been doing so for many years before this point.  Oftentimes, those sources are the biggest reasons for their actions, decisions or choices at this stage of their lives versus us, as parents.  We therefore, cannot continue to place blame upon ourselves for everything that our children decide to do or not do.  Those choices were influenced by many other sources and we are the least likely sources at this point in our children’s choices or lack of them so, we can halt the self-deprecating right there for their poor choices or in taking the blame for the way they treat us now.

Having given your child too much attention or in short, spoiling them.

A lot of parents from the 1980’s onwards are likely guilty of having given their child everything they could possibly give them including monetary things as well as attention, devotion, praise and love.  Parents of children from the 80’s onwards were also victims to a new way of thinking about parenting. Society was at a point where the theory was to reward children for almost everything that they did, including potty training.  They got stars, praise and even rewards or trophies for simply participating no matter how well they did or whether they did anything or not.  They simply had to show up more than half of the time in order to get a reward of some type or another.  Even education was play based and grades were given out according to effort, not necessarily, achievement.

This was a time frame in which parents were also encouraged to praise our children to the hilt for even small endeavours in the home and, it was done by most.  Support, praise, rewards and more of the same.  No matter what children did or didn’t do in those times, they were rewarded for one thing or another.  Not only did that lead us to believe that our children could do no wrong but, it led them to feeling “entitled” to getting rewarded in one way or another no matter what they did or didn’t do.  It was that entitlement that turned a fairly good chunk of those children into little narcissists who believed that the sun rose and set on them no matter what they did or didn’t do.  That wasn’t just parental influence but, also that of society in general.  Even were children to be disciplined at home, they were rewarded for even poor attitudes and skills outside of the home. Parents couldn’t override an entire system and if they tried, the parents became “The Hated Ones” because the rest of society and its systems were telling these children that they were “entitled”.   We did them no favours as human beings because it made it tougher for these kids to grow up into a tough, dog-eat-dog world where they weren’t able to cope well because everything had been handed to them up until this point.  That wasn’t necessarily parent’s faults but rather societal experimentation that failed these children and turned them into narcissistic tending little monsters who eventually, would grow up into adults who felt entitled and angry when they didn’t get what they wanted anymore from Life or their parents.

The “experts” are still saying that parents should tell their children they are loved no matter how badly they’ve treated us or, even if they have walked away on us and are now estranged from us.

Not to put down the so-called “experts” but, how many parents have tried with their children, always telling them that they are loved, only to find themselves being either doormats or punching bags for their children?

Answer:  Lots!

Sadly, many parents of children from the ’80s onwards are now finding their either fully adult or nearly adult children, treating them like yesterday’s garbage and being tossed to the side while they’re still telling their child, “I love you” and continuing to do so no matter how badly they are treated by their children.

Far be it from me to tell parents to not tell their children that they are loved and wanted.  Every parent needs to let their children know that much but, when that child not only disrespects that parent but, treats them poorly, it’s time to give up on the loving words and time to get real with their adult children by letting them know that while they are still loved, their attitudes and abusive, using actions will not be tolerated.  Enough already with sending them messages of “I love you” and leaving it there while rolling with the punches.  These are no longer 10 year old children who can’t understand the meanings of their actions fully.  These are fully grown adults who must learn that for every action, there’s an equal or greater reaction.  That doesn’t mean withdrawing love for them however, it does mean that these adults don’t get to treat their parents poorly and still get the benefits that they would if they were treating their parents with respect and love too.  Poor actions get poor reactions.  Withdrawal of love for them is never a solution but, rewarding them by permitting poor treatment is not the answer.  They need a wake-up call for their sakes as well as the parent’s own well-being.

If you wouldn’t let others treat you this way and would walk away from them, why are you letting your child do this to you?  

As has been said throughout this piece in differing ways, rewarding poor behaviour is akin to a form of abuse from parents.  We are not doing them any good by rewarding our children for their poor treatment of us or by putting up with it and giving them more and more of ourselves.  Life doesn’t work that way so, why should we?

When a child is rewarded for poor behaviour, attitudes, actions, choices or decisions, it re-inforces that behaviour within them.  No, they won’t like being said “no” to nor, will they love the idea that they’re not getting their own way or what they want if we do start to stand up to them as adults and let them know that it’s not ok to treat us in a poor manner.  However, continuing to give them what they want, expect or feel entitled to getting, is only bolstering the idea that poor behaviour, temper tantrums, threats of withdrawal from our lives and whatever else they can throw at us to manipulate us into giving them what they want is simply training them to continue treating us as parents, wrongly, poorly and with disregard as well as disrespect.

Let me say something perfectly clear here.

Giving more of yourself and handing everything to someone who is treating us badly, let alone our children, is a recipe for becoming a “doormat” for others.  In short, we are laying ourselves down on the ground and letting people walk on and wipe their feet on us.  That’s not right.  We are people too and it doesn’t matter who they are to us.  

Sadly, sometimes, we have to let them go and hope that they will eventually come back otherwise, we risk our lives becoming infected with toxicity.  

There’s no bigger health threat than having someone we love, treat us like dirt beneath their feet and making us feel like we don’t matter in this life.  That goes for our adult children.  We all need to feel wanted, loved, respected and treated fairly and well.  We deserve that from others especially, the very children that we lovingly raised to the adult level and oftentimes, sacrificed more than a good night’s sleep for.  Many parents can tell stories of having given up great careers, being able to travel or do things that they, themselves wanted to do for themselves that would have made them happy, in order to give everything to their child or children, leaving themselves unhappy, unfulfilled and only to be treated in an abusive, uncaring manner or worse, have that child or children walk out of their lives, without contact, care or concern for their parent(s) and their well-being.

More to the point, those children have become what one can consider a “toxin” to the parent, making them feel as though they’ve wasted those years of their lives on someone who cannot or more to the point, return that love, care or respect to their parents.  Not only that but, it wears on the parent’s psychological well-being and soon after, their physical health.  It’s a vicious cycle especially, when the parent continues to feel as though they simply need to do more, try harder, give more or plead with that child to keep their love or the adult child in their lives.  It’s akin to a dog or cat, chasing their own tails.  It’s a fruitless exercise in not only futility but in a form of an illness of one sort or another.  It won’t change your child and sometimes, the only way to make one person’s lives healthier, is for the parent to either distance themselves, limit their time or exposure to that child’s ill behaviour and treatment or, to completely walk away if the child doesn’t do it for themselves.

Yes, that all sounds counter-intuitive to what we feel or have been taught to think of as “proper parenting” but, this all leads back to the original question….

If this were anyone else in your life, would you continue to let that person abuse or mistreat you?

If your answer is “yes” then you, yourself need to find some counselling because you’re not valuing yourself as a person and instead, are valuing others above yourself.

If you answered “no” to this question then, why are you allowing and encouraging your adult child to continue to do it to you?

From my little corner of life, while this is a longer piece than I usually write, it’s an under said topic that needs addressing more and more fully.  We’ve turned out a couple of generations of children now, both adult and children who need to learn that you aren’t rewarded for treating others poorly.  There are consequences to their behaviours and reactions to their actions of equal or greater proportion.

Be well and let me know what you are dealing with in the comments, please.

Best wishes from one parent to another or to adult children who might be reading this and recognizing what may be happening in their own relationships with their parents.

Comment!

 

 

 

Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) Viewers Are Getting What I’ve Been Saying All Along

Nothing has brought in more readers to this site than Ralph Smart.  I have to thank him for that readership.

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At first, I had to endure many nasty, judgemental, accusatory and raunchy comments.  I had so many of them from Ralph Smart Lovers that I’ve stopped reading them or responding to them a few weeks ago now.  It wasn’t until more recently that I’ve seen the sheer numbers of comments on these pieces climbing that curiosity got the better of me and I started to read them before simply trashing them all.  Much to my surprise, many of the current commenters have made it clear that they have been doing their own research as well now because they had noticed something that just wasn’t sitting right with them about Smart and his many, many videos, the repetitious nature of them as well as what appears to them to be “hogwash”, “watered down”, “hocus-pocus” and so many more terms that I can’t even begin to list them.  Suffice it to say that a lot more people are finally becoming suspicious, thinking for themselves now and doing some research.  Many of them are now writing to thank me for doing the research into him, my viewpoint as well as the thought I’ve put into it all.  That’s gratifying especially, with all of the negative, raunchy and un-publishable comments that I’ve had to trash and endure.

For those who think that they know me or anything about me because they stumbled upon my blog through a Google or other search engine search, let me say one thing, “YOU DON’T”.  End of story.

Whether 19 or 95 years of age, people have been slowly figuring out what I had long ago figured out and are asking questions of both Smart and themselves.  Most of them are thanking me for “opening their eyes” or, “validating what they were already feeling” about him.

From my little corner of life, I’m finally finding that my time wasn’t wasted for many who are self-thinking and not following blindly or without questioning for themselves.

Please Note:  I no longer will be publishing or responding to comments regarding Ralph Smart.  Please feel free to read and comment on several hundred other pieces I’ve written and posted over the past 5 years that I’ve been writing on this blog.  Thank you and best wishes.   

 

I Know Who My REAL Friends Are

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I know who my real friends are because…they are there for me when I’m down, not just when THEY are down. They are there when I need an ear, shoulder/help, not just when THEY need them. They are the first to say, “yes” when I need help, even if I don’t ask because they know that I do it for them. They are there to share the good things that happen too, not just call me or come to my door when something is going wrong and they need something. They fill me in on what they’ve told me and have been worried about, no matter how it goes because they KNOW that I am concerned for them and, they don’t forget about filling me in or letting me know what happened along the way or, when the storm has passed and they’ve moved on because they know that I will let them know the outcome of my situations too. They call me just to see how I’m doing, not because they have a problem or expect me to do something because it’s “expected” from me. They are as concerned about me as I am about them. They aren’t playing a game, texting someone else or cut me off to take a better phone call or do something else they want to do while I’m pouring out my heart to them because they know that I’m all ears when THEY are pouring out theirs. Most of all, they WANT to be around me and make the effort to do so as I do with them. I know who my true friends are. They do too.

Dear Prime Minister Trudeau: A Canadian Letter On Dealing With President Trump

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Dear Justin:

We know that your good looks, charm and ability to awe crowds with your speeches and our money has gotten you as far as The Donald’s rants and lunatic acts have gotten him but, the time has come for you to actually act like Canada’s Prime Minister by standing up for Canadians with Trump at the helm now.

Your endless trips, handing out money all over the globe may have to be curtailed because you have Trump to deal with now and it’s going to take a lot of thinking, not charm or boyish good looks to win this one for the Canadian peoples that you have been sworn in to serve and protect.

It’s a well known fact that Canadians are polite and will try not to ruffle feathers however, that tactic will likely not work on Mr. D.J..  Giving him a congratulations and an extended hand to shake then, traveling off to other foreign countries or yet your 10,000th trip across Canada isn’t going to cut the mustard with a man who has more money than God and a mouth to boot.  Just as you don’t know what you’re doing as Prime Minister because you were never really a politician (no, you can’t count being the son of one), Trump wasn’t either.  Equally, just as Trump got into The White House because voters were fed up with politicians in Washington, you got in because voters up here were fed up with the status quo in the Conservatives.  Oh yes, and your pretty boy smile and muscles and…well….let’s not forget that you have your father’s last name too.

Let’s not forget that Trump is like a bull in a China shop while you’re still playing the role of the nice kid in the playground, giving out candy to be liked.  It isn’t going to work on Trump.  He hates candy and nice kids.  He wants to go out there, build walls around the country and grab women’s p*ssies.  Still want to play ball with him nicely?

Prime Minister Trudeau, do you think that you could grow a pair as well as a real back bone and stand up for the voters in Canada who voted you into office, keeping our rights and wellbeing in mind as you engage in politics with President Trump?  Do you think you could stay in one place long enough (Parliament would be nice) to build a strategy for dealing with Trump when he dumps Canada’s sorry arse into the Atlantic or Pacific ocean or decides that another wall between our two countries would balance out the one he wants Mexico to pay for?  Or, will you simply hand him over the money, straighten your tie, gel your hair and go on with your days in office?  Please don’t try to hone your Twitter skills.  Trump has that down pat already.

Canadians may be a polite bunch, eh?  However, we can guarantee you that there’s enough Canadians who will put on running shoes and march the streets of the major cities in Canada if you aren’t on guard for us.  Despite the cost of gas, our Loonie being worth nothing against the green back, we can still get to those cities to protest loud and clear.  Don’t make us do it, please.

Sincerely,

The Canadian Peoples