It’s A Wonderful Life When You’re On Facebook

Does Facebook make you feel as though your life isn't as good as everyone else's?

Does Facebook make you feel as though your life isn’t as good as everyone else’s?

Have you ever felt like your life sucks and everyone else’s is somehow the epitome of perfection while going through your home feeds on Facebook?  Everyone’s lives look happy, rose coloured and feel like it needs a sound track with birds chirping, people skipping and singing.  Your “friends” are all posting photos of perfect children and grandchildren, parties, dinners, vacations, selfies with groups in beautiful places.  Suddenly, your life feels like it’s gone to hell in a hand-basket and you’re wondering what you’re doing wrong because your world now seems small.

Let me assure you of one thing here.  Facebook isn’t reality.

Here’s a few things you should know that should help make you look at Facebook a little differently.

 “Bullshit Artists”

If you’ve ever felt like your life sucks because your Facebook friends all seem to be doing something exciting or, because they seem to have themselves and their lives together, you can stop right there.  Your life is really no different than theirs.  The only thing that differs is that they’ve taken and posted a few more selfies than you have and they’re just better at how they present themselves and their lives.  They’ve learned the art of taking photos of bagels with cream cheese with their cell phones and giving it a grandiose story to go with it.  They’ve bypassed all that’s going wrong in their lives in favour of posting jokes or being inventive in how they’ve phrased their status updates.  They’ve created ways to present ordinary, everyday events and make it seem like they’re part of Dirty Dancing and are having the time of their lives.  In other words, they’ve become “Bullshit Artists” and you haven’t mastered it quite as well.

Avoiding The Negatives In Their Lives 

Not many people go onto Facebook and admit that their lives are filled with crap.  Social media is a venue whereby, people present their lives as though they don’t have a problem in the world.  After all, how many people go onto Facebook to read about everyone else’s problems?  By being selective as to what they post, people can make their lives look happy and themselves, well adjusted.  It’s what they don’t post that tells you the other half or more of their stories.

How many people have you seen whose walls look like they came out of a Normal Rockwell painting but, have talked to them in private or over the phone and know that they’re not at all happy in their lives?  If you haven’t seen that, drop those people a line or two in a private message or via email.  Pick up the phone and call them or, invite them to meet you for coffee one day if you live close enough to one another.  If you’re perceptive enough, you’ll get the gist that their lives just aren’t what they seem on Facebook.  That’s a guarantee because no one is without problems.  They have simply avoided posting the negatives in their lives on Facebook.

Happy Friends And Family 

The ultimate measure of a person’s life would appear to be the smiling faces and sheer numbers of people in a person’s life.  One could be envious of those who seem to have endless family, friends and happy smiles in photos on Facebook.  It could make those who are less family and friend endowed, feel as though they’ve somehow failed in Life because they have few photos to post of themselves with family and friends by comparison.  However, if you were able to listen to the storied behind the multitude of people who seem to grace their lives, you’d also find a plethora of gripes, groans, moans and complaints about those same people who are beaming with teeth showing through those smiles.  You would also find that there’s been tears, fears, worries, headaches and rejections that go along with all of those faces in those photos.  Never judge a relationship by their smiles in photos.  No one’s family is that happy and no friendship comes without issues.  No one goes un-talked about in a negative light.  Nothing is what it seems in those captured moments of what appears like total bliss.

Party On, Dudes

It’s Saturday night and you’re sitting at home, in front of your computer, looking at Facebook while dozens of photos and status updates come through on the Home Feeds of people out, dancing, drinking or seemingly, having fun.  Where’s your fun?  Why are you at home while everyone else seems to be out with others, enjoying themselves?  What are you doing wrong?

Everyone at some point, gets time out of the house to be with others or, you have someone or several people over to your place.  It may not be every weekend and it may not be with large groups of people but, the truth is, you’ve gone out too.  The difference is, these people have an obsession with turning every moment that they’re out, into a photo-op to post to Facebook and you haven’t done that but, they have.  They will grab every opportunity to grab a photo of the people around them and with them.  Some people in their photos, they’ve just met through other people or, they’ve learned to get people into photos by hamming it up and turning it into a joke.  Are their entire evenings like that?  Likely not.

If you’d like to have photos to post to your wall, wait until you’re with at least one other person, at home or out and get “goofy” while snapping pictures of those moments and posting them to Facebook.  Add a caption about what a great visit or time you had to it and post them.  You too, will have instant Party Time that looks great on any Facebook wall.

EXAMPLE Status:

“Emily and I out having a great afternoon”

foto2

Turning Ordinary Everyday Events Into Something News Worthy 

People in Facebookland have also learned how to turn even the most mundane of daily things into something worthy of posting on Facebook.  It fills in a lot of gaps in their lives that would normally be left gaping holes were it not for how they made it look somehow glamorous.

Take this photo for instance.

spaghetti-sauce-007

Ok, it’s a photo of a pot of pasta or spaghetti sauce.  It’s nothing special.  We all have our favourite recipes or we’re really good at opening a jar and throwing it into a pot to heat up, right?

The above is true but, in Facebookland, it’s no ordinary pot of sauce that you’ve made (store bought or homemade or not…remember, it’s what you omit that makes the story seem interesting).  This is your masterpiece and you’re happy about it.  Try adding that photo to your Facebook wall as a status and add in what was happening or what you were doing or who was around you at the time you were making it.  Talk about something else that you accomplished during the day before you made that sauce or what you’re going to watch on tv after you’ve had it and suddenly…you have a life!

This photo could be posted to your wall with a status update like:

“Yummy!  My freshly made pasta sauce to go with garlic bread for dinner tonight. I’m looking forward to curling up with my favourite pyjamas, a blanket and binge watching Sons of Anarchy on Crave TV tonight.”  

Suddenly, not only do you have something good to eat but, you’re a good cook and have a well planned, cozy evening to look forward to.

It’s all tricks.  It’s all omissions.  It’s all just how you present yourself and your life that makes your life feel, seem and be fuller if that’s what you’re into and want to do.

If not, just realize that no one’s life is as lopsidedly good as what it appears on Facebook.  Everyone has lonely moments, cries, has problems, fights with friends and family, nowhere to go and no one to go with.  You’re not failing at Life anymore than anyone else is nor, is your life worse than anyone else’s for the most part.  You’re ok.  Facebook can simply make it seem like you’re not and cause a lot of depression in people if you’re not of the right frame of mind and seeing it for what it is….non-reality based life.

Gilmore Girls Fans Rejoice As There Could Be The Show’s Revival Coming!

Far be-it from me to spread a rumour that may not be true but, even Times has written it so, could it be true that Netflix, in conjunction with Warner Brothers, the original series owners, are working together to bring about a Netflix GILMORE GIRLS revival?  At least, so say the entertainment news makers.

Could it be?  Please say it’s so.

gilmore girls cast

It’s been 15 years since the first episode of Gilmore Girls first aired.  The series was a hit and lasted 7 seasons but, quickly ended with a rather un-satisfying ending one season after writer-producer team, husband and wife Dan and Amy Sherman-Pallidino ended up in a bitter conflict with WB’s over contracts and never got to finish writing the final season. Instead, it ended with wires left hanging and fans, unsatisfied, wanting more and wanting it done properly as had been done with Sherman-Paladino at the helm, writing it.  WB pulled the plug and that was that.

For fans of the show, all that’s been left are a boxed set or re-runs where they can be found.  Many of us have watched the same episodes over and over so many times that we can recite quirky lines made by the fast talking, coffee addicted, hyper mother-daughter duo, Lorelai and Rory Gilmore.  Women longed to see grumpy, edgy but, good hearted Luke and Lorelai finally get together after watching them for 7 seasons with longing to be both of them.  More of us wanted to move to Stars Hollow and become one of the looney town folk that graced out televisions week after week.  Most of all, a lot of us, sat with our own daughters, making every week an evening to sit together for that hour and bringing us together with eagerness to watch the show.  Though it’s been 8 years and a lot of our daughters are now packing lives of their own, that longing to see this cast together again has not left either mothers nor daughters.  We all want more.

Actor, Edward Hermann passed away last year so, the character of Richard Gilmore would not be able to be carried forward.  That leaves a hole in the cast of characters and in our hears in real life.  However, it’s easily gotten around as writers had uncannily written in a heart attack for Richard Gilmore during one season and it would be simple for them to fast forward the 8 missing years with a gap and have that line extended to be a plausible explanation for the character’s departure in the show as well as his untimely and horridly sad loss in real life.

As many will remember, the plot line was left wide open for imagination.

Rory was leaving to become a political journalist on the president’s team.  Luke and Lorelai had exchanged a kiss in what fans might believe would be the beginning of their relationship again.  Rory’s refusal of marriage to Logan left her boyfriend situation fully open to old flames and the return of Jess or Dean.  Nothing was done with the rest of the characters in Stars Hollow, the small town in Connecticut that fans had loved to love.

So, what could be done?

For one, that 8 year gap could easily be brought forward to present day.  Sherman-Palidino had worried that Gilmore Girls couldn’t survive in today’s television environment but, fans beg to differ.

Richard Gilmore, having had one heart attack a couple of seasons prior to the shows final season, could have suffered a second, fatal hear attack.  The opening could be Rory returning for her grandfather’s funeral to be with her mother and grandmother.

Luke and Lorelai might have gone on to a relationship or, they could have separated again as had been their M.O. for the entire series.  That sexual tension could still be there and as some fans have said, might have made the show worth watching because everyone waited to see them together.  The pair could re-ignite their passion when Luke hears about Lorelai’s loss and comes to the funeral.

Yes, that would leave Emily a Widow but, it could also make for an exciting story line as Emily has “suitors” coming around eventually or, she could want to take over Richard’s business and run it.

Since the role of Sookie St. James, likely wouldn’t be revived since actress, Melissa McCarthy’s stardom has sky-rocketed, Lorelai could sell off the Inn they owned and ran to help Emily run the father’s business or, Richard could have left the biz to Lorelai since she’d worked with him and for him in one season for a few episodes.  That would leave her face to face with her mother again, a business woman in a modern business as a company owner, along with the trials and tribulations of both.

Rory, having been on her own for these years, could have had another boyfriend and drops him when she comes back to town and is wooed by Luke’s nephew, Jess again, falling slowly for him all over again as also an author (fans will remember him having written and published a book before his departure from the show).  Perhaps, together, they start their own newspaper.  The door is wide open for this plot line and Rory’s, depending on which of her former beaus will be able to return to the show, given any current contracts they’re under.

Luke could have expanded his restaurant into a chain and become quite successful needing Lorelai’s help.

The sky is the limit with this cast of characters and their plot lines as it was left wide open when it ended, unfinished.

So, from one fan, to I’m sure…many more…may these rumours be true and may Netflix, WB and Amy Sherman-Palidino see the light in how many fans they have just praying for a show revival.

At least, that’s how I’m seeing things from my little corner of life and I’m sure…so is everyone else from what I’ve been reading in comments all over the net.

Cheech And Chong Have Nothing Over My Daughter’s Boyfriend Sadly

Maybe my tastes in people are different.  Perhaps I’m not as tolerant as I should be but, I don’t find a chronic Pothead, attractive in any way and cannot see what it is that my daughter sees in her boyfriend who smokes up from the moment he opens his eyes in the morning until he shuts his eyes at night. He literally lights his life up in smoke like Cheech and Chong.

Potheads justify their chronic weed use by telling everyone it

Potheads justify their chronic weed use by telling everyone it “cures” everything. Weed, the wonder drug.

It might be just me but, I cannot fathom how it is that she can look at this jerk and see anything in him that she can take forward with her into her future except a major dependent headache.  He’s not a teenager either.  He’s going towards 35 years of age.

Since they first met about 7 years ago, he’s put on about 80 or so pounds or more.  His idea of exercise is walking from the couch to the fridge or having to go to the bathroom and even that might be too much a lot of the time.  His clothes are all far too small for him. His now huge belly sticks out from under his faded psychedelic/rock t-shirts and he cannot do up the top button on his pants. “The Munchies” have taken their toll.  What’s worse is that the guy will not wear new clothes that do fit him or are appropriate to the situation.  I can’t describe the nose-dive my stomach does, seeing him enter a fancy restaurant where everyone else is dressed up and he walks in wearing a worn-out, faded, ill-fitting, rock or psychedelic t-shirt and a pair of dirty or wrinkled, worn-out blue jeans, undone half way down the zipper, hair un-combed, stinking to high heavens, un-shaven, brown teeth, looking like he’d just rolled out of bed and stumbled into the car.

He wreaks of weed and body odour. If you’re unfortunate enough to get seated beside him at a meal and caught in the down-draft in a restaurant or anywhere else for that matter, your eyes would tear up from gagging. I’d be willing to bet that taking a shower or changing his clothes is a low priority, likely coming in behind rolling and lighting his next joint and eating the crumbs he’s dropped for the 17th time in 20 minutes, off of his shirt.  In other words, he lacks the ability to care about himself or anyone else’s feelings for that matter.

His greatest ambition in Life is to pass Level 3 in some video game or to download 200 more Psychedelic Rock songs onto his computer while wondering why it keeps crashing or gets locked up with viruses. He lives his home life, sitting beside a garbage can, situated in front of the couch, likely so that he doesn’t have to move his ample reared and belly to dump his rolled joint clippings and munchie wrappers.

The hint that weed has been smoked...left over wrappers that they won't pick up.

The hint that weed has been smoked…left over wrappers that they won’t pick up.

His snoring is so bad that my daughter regularly has to sleep on the living room couch, which has springs coming through the bottom of the cushions and has been compacted by his fat ass, planted to watch downloaded documentaries on the virtues of marijuana or conspiracy theories.  I think if I hear her say that she’s “so tired” and “didn’t get much sleep” one more time, I’m going to choke her as she complains about not only the couch she has to sleep on but, also the fact that he’s up several times a night to rummage through cupboards looking to eat chocolate and other goodies.  She has complained on many occasions that she has to spend her getting ready for work time the next morning, picking up empty wrappers as well as half drank glasses of iced tea and milk he’s left behind.  All of this is beside a mattress, placed on the floor due to what we can only guess has been taken off of its frame because either he keeps falling out of bed or because he’s put on a lot of weight due to the marijuana munchies.  It doesn’t matter how you look at it.  It’s the weed.

All of that is not to top the apartment he chose for them to live in which is being over-paid-for, falling apart from the ground up, so tiny you could spit from one end to the other (and I wouldn’t put it past him to have done it), furniture that’s second hand or from a damaged goods department of a furniture store and lays in the middle of a wealthier area because he needed to be in the middle of the most expensive part of town due to his champagne tastes on a beer budget.  It’s not cheap to be a Pothead with the cost of it as well as not working fully.

Since she moved out or our home and in with him, she’s gone through all of her substantial savings, works full time at a job she hates but, keeps because he’s gone from a somewhat liveable salary in working for family to one that barely makes ends meet.  It’s only by the grace of his family that he even has a job at all as he smokes up all day long and rarely works a full week or a full day if he makes it to work at all.  We won’t get into the credit card debt that he’s always been in and has wracked up past his earlobes.  I’m sure his weed, his vape pens, weed and hash wax/oils and other crap he seems to need with him at all times to keep his high going cuts a wide swath in his pay every month.  I’m wondering what the 30 bottles of cologne he had stashed everywhere as a cover-up for the weed smell cost him.  I guess he can’t afford those anymore and, while I wish that he’d go back to using it because it at least, somewhat masked his nauseating stench, I’m not having asthma-like attacks from the abundance of it anymore.  My gag reflex has returned with a vengeance though.

The brain cells have eroded and he couldn't even pass a urine test.

The brain cells have eroded and he couldn’t even pass a urine test.

Conversations over dinner tables with him can often turn nasty.  HIs abrasive, obnoxious, opinionated and oftentimes, rude comments leaves the family wondering if our daughter has also become brain dead or whether she has simply acclimated herself so well to his spiels and outbursts that she’s lost track of where he ends and she begins.  There’s no room for shades of grey in his mind, it seems.  There’s only what he considers as blacks and whites which gives zero room for discussion or debate.  He’s right and the rest of the world is wrong.  If he’s not agreed with, he’ll simply smoke another reefer and try to convince my daughter (or whomever else will listen to him) that her brain cells have eroded until she acquiesces or gives up in defeat.  I wonder what they talk about during dinner but, I’m assuming his mouth is rammed so full that there’s no chance for any sort of banter.  Either that or, they eat in front of the single working computer left that he hasn’t crashed, on a coffee table where they watch what he’s downloaded or a link to a streaming site.

While he can extol the virtues of pot usage like he’s memorized a script written by all recreational pot users and tell us why it should be legalized (must be to save postage from his purchases of it over the net as he doesn’t even have enough ambition, energy or drive to go out and purchase it), he’s smacked up a couple of cars his father has paid for through the company and cites road conditions for the bang-ups which include cars having been written off.  We have no idea how he gets away with those excuses when his family all know he’s a stoner and does it all day, including while driving.

No problem with smoking weed....only running out of it becomes an issue.

No problem with smoking weed….only running out of it becomes an issue.

What’s hardest to fathom is why she stays with him when they live in a hand-to-mouth fashion, have no friends (little wonder), can’t afford to do more than hit a few smaller venue rock concerts now and again, no one able to tolerate him, including his own family who has ousted both of them because of his behaviour and, even I have lost patience in hoping she’ll some day wake up and realize that what she’s got right now with him, is the best that he’s going to be able to offer her in every way of both his being and their lives together.  With zero drive or determination to better his lot in life, whatever small urge he has had to make a change in any way, simply goes up in smoke with the next joint.

It’s equally hard to get a grasp on how it is that our daughter, once a beaming, beautiful, well dressed, well kept, intelligent, driven, ambitious woman with a university degree, can stand there and introduce this grade 12 drop-out, dressed like he lives in a gutter, unkempt, un-shaven, tub of hot air, lard-bucket and say, “this is my boyfriend” without wanting to cringe and hide.  Even I choke on the words when forced to introduce him to others as our daughter’s choice in mates and do it as little as possible.  I try to simply use his name, instead.

The most difficult of all is to have watched our daughter not only become someone else over the time she’s been with him….someone we don’t even recognize anymore but, more  key is the idea that she’s not seeing that not only has she, herself gone downhill and let herself slide but, that her entire future looks pretty dismal as well as issue-riddled.  It’s no going to get any better.  If the good foot forward has already been presented as they say, this foot is looking like it’s going to take her off of her feet.  Heaven forbid that there should be a child ever brought into this world by the 2 of them as even taking care of a cat has become too much for him, mentally, emotionally, patience and financially.  Stepping up to the plate to become a parent is just not in his deck of cards.  His next smoke-up is his biggest goal.

Needless to say, our family only tolerates him because it means that she’ll walk on us if we don’t.  She’s done it already for over a year at one point.  This guy knows her weak spots and he preys on them, works with them and manipulates her into his clutches.  He’s good at it and I can see the wheels turning in his brain as he does it.  With no friends, his own family unable to stand him or even tolerate him much, she is his only ally and he’s not about to let her go as long as he can keep reeling her in again.

The latest attempt was when she was close to walking out on him and the relationship.  She gave him an ultimatum to clean up his act, get another job, get their debt paid down and into another decent apartment that had 2 bedrooms where she could actually sleep in a bed versus a broken down couch.  Unwilling to make any changes to his life, he agreed that they needed to get another apartment when he knew that they couldn’t afford first and last month’s rent, let alone another bed for another bedroom.  She came to us for money for it all.  He knew that if they moved, they’d have to sign another year’s lease which would likely keep her as she couldn’t afford to buy out the remainder of that lease as he was working less and less with his salary going down and his father having fired him on several occasions, only to have him talk himself back into an even lower position out of guilt from his father and brother.  We weren’t falling for that one.  She might have but, we weren’t going to be that stupid.

I’d like to say that him smoking up and being lazy is a teenaged, early 20-something thing but, it’s not.  He’s nearing 35 years of age and she’s nearly 33.  It’s doubtful that this is simply a sew-your-oats type of stance at this age. After over 6 years of co-habitating under these conditions, it should have long since run its course but doesn’t seem to be slowing down, going sour or wearing thin.

There’s a lot of information out there on the alleged benefits of marijuana but there’s a lot of downsides to it as well.  While this guy complains bitterly about people who drink alcohol and calls them “mentally ill”, he refuses to see that his pot consumption is little more than an alternate high for him.  It’s not medicinal.  It’s used to escape his own demons and done chronically.  It’s akin to a drinker having to have a drink every few hours.   It’s an escape that is taking not only him down in life but, my daughter with him.

Can I place full blame on him and his weed consumption, exempting my daughter from this? No, I can’t.  She’s as much to blame for letting herself get this far caught up in a lifestyle that’s going nowhere good and, makes her future look like a dismal abyss.  This not how we wanted to see her end up but, this is exactly the way that it’s going.

Yes, he’s a glorious piece of work.  A real beauty to behold and yet…we are stuck with him for the time-being but, my daughter is the biggest loser of all by wasting her life at this precious time where most of her friends have moved forward like adults and she’s still living the Frat Life with a Loser, Pothead.  Sad but, true and, there’s nothing that I can do about it.  It’s a form of an abusive relationship through manipulation and drugs.

If your son or daughter comes home with a stoner…show them the door and let the knob hit them in the ass on the way out.  No get out of jail free card for them or you’ll be walking my tight-rope too.

From my little corner of life…this issue riddled jerk and sorry excuse of a human being is giving marijuana a bad name.  Then, again…isn’t every stoner-Pothead?

PS: If you’re thinking on commenting on this piece and trying to convince me of the alleged uses of marijuana or how it allegedly cures cancer, seizures and other ailments…please don’t.  I’ve heard it all and this entry is NOT meant to be about its medicinal uses.  

Thanks for understanding and saving me the hassle of having to wade through comments that I won’t be publishing if they’re extolling the virtues of marijuana and why or, telling (as most recreational pot users do) me to “do the research”.    

If You Want To Whine….

I’m going to date myself here in what I’m going to say but that’s ok.  I wear a badge of honour for my years.

Back in the 1950’s and early 1960’s, there seemed to be a line that every parent gave.  Perhaps, it was written into a Dr. Spock book somewhere but, most parents back then, didn’t put up with their child’s whining especially, in stores and would swiftly swat us when we acted up.

If you want to whine…I’ll give you something to whine about,” they’d say, ushering us out of the store or over to the side where we couldn’t bother anyone else.

kid

Yesterday, I was in a mall shoe store, trying on shoes with the help of a friendly clerk.  The store was crowded and there was barely room to try on shoes or get past other customers.  As I bent down to try on a pair, a child ran up the aisle, knocking over boxes of shoes, swiping down displays and carrying on like a lunatic.  He was no small child who didn’t know any better.  He appeared to be around the age of 8 or so, possibly even older.

No one did a thing.  His mother and grandmother went on blissfully looking at shoes while this kid ran wild through the store, continuing to wreak havoc with not only store merchandise but, making it impossible for other shoppers to try on shoes or even look.

One brave sales clerk, dared to try to stop this little creature from his reign of terror by taking a box out of his hands, telling him it was rude and asking where his parents were.  The little monster ran to his mother, whining and screeching out whining noises that sounded like something from a horror movie.  The mother did nothing and the child returned to his antics.

At that point, another store clerk attempted a similar tactic and met with the same results. Most other shoppers at this point had stopped to stare at this Child Gone Bad in either amazement, disgust or both.

It was at that exact moment that my own parent’s words came flooding back as though they were standing right there and were it not for being put up on assault charges, I would have smacked the child upside the back of the head then, proceeded to repeat the same gesture and words with his mother and grandmother.

“If your child insists on being such a pain in the behind and, you’re not going to do anything about him…you may as well feel it like everyone else in the store is feeling it!”

Of course, I couldn’t and I didn’t but, I can tell you that it was mighty tempting.

From my little corner of life, what you put up with from your child at home is your business but, if that child is annoying the pants off of everyone else around you, either do something or expect some sort of consequence.

I would have loved to have seen that family kicked out of the store at that point but, I’m sure, like me, other customers left instead.

Sadly, I have come to truly appreciate that line that was given out so freely back in the 50’s and 60’s.  I wish more parents would learn it…or, perhaps…a t-shirt with the saying imprinted on it would serve a purpose?