No One Has All of The Answers To Life’s Problems

Listen-to-everyone-and-learn-from-everyone-because-nobody-knows-everything-but-everyone-knows-something

No One Has All Of The Answers. You know just as much as others.

Beware of those offering you the way to happiness, success and fulfilment via what one can consider a magic wand way of thinking, eating, behaving or rituals that they claim ensure that you’ll have Life in your pocket.  Life doesn’t work that way and what works for one, doesn’t work for another for we are all individuals with specific needs, wants and circumstances.  There’s no magic cure for all that ails mankind.  If there were, the world and everyone in it, wouldn’t have problems or they would be short-lived.

None of us walking this planet have the answers to Life’s issues, problems or the resulting emotional turmoil that we go through with each of these things.  Though Youtube and other sources are filled with sometimes, helpful tips and hints that make us temporarily feel better, the reality is, the Youtube makers don’t have their lives as put together as they would love their viewers to think.  Remember that there’s a camera, lights and action on an actor/actress in front of us.  As cheerful as that person may seem, it’s guaranteed that once that camera is turned off, there’s editing and, that actor/actress goes on with their less than perfect life in a way that you won’t see them talk about on camera, unless that’s what their vlogs are about to begin with.

There’s no short cut to having everything or being happy and certainly, none of us have everything and though we can all fake it for Youtube and even Facebook, no one has their lives all put together nor, themselves.  There is no magic to it so, anyone who portrays that they have it all together for themselves and tries to tell you that they do, are usually out to sell you on something, in some way.  That statement includes some of those that people on the net tend to look up to as well.

Here are some things to keep in mind when you cross paths with someone who tells you that they know how you should live your life.

  1. These people aren’t walking in your shoes or living your life.
  2. No one has it all together no matter how strongly convincing they may seem
  3. There is no One Size Fits All solution, magic or otherwise bullet or wand that works
  4. Eating or not eating a certain way isn’t the answer for everything
  5. Someone constantly telling others how to live their lives, are often those who are trying to convince themselves or make money off of you
  6. Religion and Spirituality can give hope but, they cannot or will not solve all of your problems.  You were given a brain of your own to use and a life in which to learn lessons…even if they are learned through pain and suffering
  7. No one knows it all in one area, let alone many so, when you hear someone telling you how to solve issues on many different topics, think twice and realize all of the above points
  8. What works for one person, doesn’t work for another, let alone everyone and every situation
  9. There’s no one walking this planet that has all of the answers to Life so, following them by the letter is a recipe for disaster for you.  Find your own ways
  10. Don’t try too hard.  Each of us have differing lots in Life to deal with.  While it’s desirable to seek out answers to our problems, sometimes we simply have no control over certain things and have to let them pass or seek out professionals in those areas to help us through them.  Ultimately, we have to do the work but, trying too hard, too much or worrying about whatever we’re facing, only leads us to being less happy.
  11. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.  Some of the happiest people on the planet, have little but, are happy anyway because they don’t know what they are missing.  Be a little less knowledgeable and being happy may be more simple.
  12. Learn what you can about your situation within reason but, don’t go crazy, trying to learn all that you can about everything going on in your life.  It only leads you towards anxiety, depression and realizing that what you do know, is only the tip of the iceberg about what else you don’t know about it.
  13. Knowing too much and continuing to search and seek out more and more information, keeps you focused on what your problem is until it becomes an obsession.  When you dwell on your problems, you’re actually keeping them with you and making yourself worse.
  14. Turn off electronic devices for a while each day.  Stop researching, reading and even texting your friends or family.  Get dirty and sort through piles of belongings, get together with those friends or call them and talk instead of texting or social media.  Social media can actually make you feel worse about yourself and your life because it’s not real.  It’s only what people want you to see or know.  Their real lives don’t look anything like the picture they’ve painted for you on their walls, Instagram, Twitter or other accounts.
  15. Be aware that Youtube video makers have a purpose for doing what they are doing. Not all are doing it for money but, the “greats” are out to make money off of you.  Even when their videos are free, they can and do make money by getting subscribers and likes. Every click a lot of these chronic Tubers get, converts to a monthly check/cheque being sent to them.  These people live off of your need to know something but, they may not always give out correct information or, they could be giving you information that hurts you versus helps you.  It’s only later that you figure that much out.  Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) is one of them.  Look at the sheer number of topics that he makes viewers believe he has the answers to.  He doesn’t.  He’s good at reading articles, books and studies.  Look at the sheer number of videos he puts out per week. He makes money off of your Youtube clicks that pay his bills so that he doesn’t have to work a real job.  He’s not an “expert” on anything, including psychology.  Beware!

Realize that Life is going to be fraught with uncomfortable situations.  No one is walking around this planet with pure happiness nor, does anyone have all of the answers to everything.  In today’s age, we have once again begun to look for magic wands, fountains of eternal happiness and answers to everything that ails our lives and us.  While there’s something to be said about trying to change our situations, remember that there are some things for which we have little to no control over.  Someone else, telling you that you do have complete control over everything if you’ll follow (fill in the blank), is full of proverbial dung.

At least, that’s the way that I see things from my little corner of life.

Be Well, Love and Light.

Have a great day or evening.

 

How To Dye Your Hair With Natural Ingredients?

I thought that I’d seen everything until I started noticing articles about dying your hair with, of all things, Nutella.  
Yes, you heard me right.  There’s no need to clear the wax out of your ears, ask “what?!” or clean your glasses.  Nutella.

pack_small_2

That’s when I turned to good ole YouTube because you just know that at least one of those beauty queen video makers are going to actually try this.  Sure enough, I was right. Not only was there one of them but, surprise, surprise, just in case one didn’t get it right, there were several to many beauty YouTubers out there who had tried this.

RESULT:  (Drum Roll please)

Nothing.  Nada. Zip.  As expected, no change whatsoever in anyone’s hair colour no matter how they did it or how long they left it in their hair (they were all blondes…go figure).

Even more surprising was that actual licensed hair salons were trying this too.  Uhhh…what did they teach these people in hair dressing school?  Kind of frightening, I’d say.

If that wasn’t bad enough, YouTube side bars (as all good YouTube watchers know) are filled with other, similar contented videos that you’d like to watch.  Yes, YouTube really does its job in gathering its information on what you’re watching and shoving more and more videos of the same nature at you.

People were trying, coffee, turmeric, ginger, beets (a LOT of preparation for that one) and just about every other food, spice or drink you can think of to change their hair colour.  Oh, what people will do to put out a YouTube video.

In the end, all of them seemed to only end up with messes on their counters, shirts, towels and a lot of wasted time, energy and money and not to mention, a ton of shampoo, conditioners as well as likely higher water bills to get some of the crap out that they poured into their hair.

(I’m sure a few of them got their heads licked by their dogs or boyfriends while they were at it which may or may not have made a better video than the actual hair dying vids.)

However, I had to wonder something.  If they were able to succeed in having changed their hair colour with these things, how long would it actually have lasted?  Secondly, I wondered if their heads smelled like chocolate or the spices or coffee for days?  How many of them who tried the coffee method, had people wanting to dunk their break time cookies into their heads?

I have red hair.  I mean ORANGE hair right now.  Yes, I did it purposely with an actual salon dye which they consider “Amber” in colour.  I just call myself “Carrot Top” because if I wear green clothing, I look like a giant carrot.  I’m getting used to it now.  After all, I could be stop sign red, pink, purple, green or any other colour of the spectrum that one can think of.  Why not orange?

So, what’s next?  Some idiot will claim that Cheese Whiz changes your hair to orange and everyone and their brothers will be out to buy a jar of it to plaster onto their hair next? Or peanut butter turns it a dirty blonde?  Get out your crackers and bread.  Well…wait…Cheeze Whiz did work for this guy and the “cracker” is there as well.  No double dipping please.

trump hair

Donald Trump Cheese Whiz Hair Dye On The Cracker

From my little corner of life, I had a laugh especially at 2 ladies who decided that putting Nutella in their hair on a white comforter in a white room and dancing around was a great idea in film making.  I’m sure that will be the ONE thing that Nutella doesn’t come out of easily.

Until next time, happy hair dying with real hair colour, not food.  Keep that for your stomachs, please.

 

 

Is Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) The Youtube Sensation Really What He Portrays On His Videos

197d2b083-1

As a blog writer, it’s quite fascinating to watch your stats every day.  There’s an entire wealth of information that comes from those figures.  They tell you not only how many people read your blog daily but, also what they read, what they search for on search engines and how much they read of your blog.  Did you know that information is readily available to those who both blog or write articles for newspapers and other sites as well as YouTube video makers and even Facebook pages?  There’s little that one can do on the net that isn’t being tracked by someone, somehow, somewhere.  Even your IP address is being recorded everywhere you go on the net.

Frankly, my concern as a writer is what people are interested in and want to know more about.  Search terms, searches, search engines, countries’ views etc., all play an important part in what I write and why I write what I do.  I want to give people what they are wanting versus telling readers what I had for breakfast or what I did in a day.  Facebook personal walls suffice for that purpose.

More recently, I began to write about a certain YouTube sensation, Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep).  At first, I was hooked in like the many subscribers that Smart has amassed over the 4 or 5 years that he’s been making videos on his channel.  It was only after a while of binge watching his videos that I began to see something in him and his videos that set off alarm bells within me and I stopped watching him, unsubscribing from his channel.  That’s when, out of curiosity, I began doing research into Smart and what I found gave me a larger picture of who this person was and what his true motives likely are versus what comes out of his mouth in his videos.

I began writing what I had found on Smart, my own opinions on it all as well as giving soft warnings to those who are most vulnerable.  Much to my surprise, hundreds of people per day were pouring in to read what I had written about him, having done their own searches on him.  It proved to me that people wanted to know more about Smart than what he was giving them.  Some of the terms that people were using in their quest for more information were also showing me that there are many people out there who are questioning Smart’s veracity as a psychologist and whether or not he’s a fraud.  I obviously wasn’t the only one who heard those alarm bells.  More thinking people had opened up their minds to other possibilities than what they were seeing and hearing from him on his daily videos on YouTube.

Of course, Smart has carefully chosen to hide his net tracks.  There’s not a lot one can find on Smart without having your own sources and digging deeply enough while thinking outside of his box or the one he wants to have you in with him.  Information can be found on him but, it takes dedication and endurance to find it.  It’s akin to putting together a puzzle with pieces being hidden on the floor beneath the table and not knowing where to look.  Sources I followed through with, helped my research to find them sooner than others would have found them, thankfully.

During that time frame, I had written several pieces on Smart as people kept coming in by the hundreds daily, seeking out information on him.  However, his devout fans were less than happy that someone would not like Infinite Waters and his spiels, wasting no time in letting me know that much.  They also felt the need to do an armchair version of psychoanalysis on me as a person having read only one or so pieces I’d written and only on the topic of Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) on which to form what they believed was the truth about me and put together a crude, rude and lewd personality profile of me.  Sadly, they were so far off the mark that it was pathetic but, laughable for the most part.  A lot of comments were un-publishable, let alone un-answerable because they were simply cursing and swearing or so crudely formatted that no other human eyes would want to read them lest my pieces be considered X-Rated.  I’d simply trash them and go on with my day.

As time went by, more and more of these obviously distressed, delusional and immature individuals filled my in-box with their pitiful attempts to psychoanalyze me but more to the point, express their trepidations that someone was writing something unfavourable about Mr. Smart.  What they didn’t know was the fact that the more they commented in such a distasteful manner, the more that they were proving my points about how much good Smart and his daily videos were doing for people.  It was apparent that though these people were defending what they considered was Smart’s ingenious, enlightening and brilliant pieces, they weren’t exactly soaking it in or, what Smart was spewing out daily, made no difference or even sense to them.  In other words, Smart wasn’t working the magic that they proclaimed he was working for them.

Near the end of January of this year, I tired of hearing the same old and worn out comments from Smart Defenders as they made no sense and were simply foul-mouthed or anger riddled, derogatory remarks that I’d simply have to move to the trash bucket on the server.  I put up a note on each of my entries that I was no longer approving, reading nor, responding to any comments on those pieces.  However, that didn’t sit well with me in that approach either.  It was only after what one can consider the last straw on the camel’s back that I decided I’d had enough of these types of comments and the foul-mouthed commenters and I deleted all except 2 of my pieces that I wrote about Smart.  I’d simply had enough of the negativity pouring out of these less than intelligent people on a daily basis and tired of deleting the comments that were too disgraceful to publish and later, all comments.

Thankfully, I didn’t take anything that they said, personally in spite of the fact that they were oftentimes, degrading me as a person, not even knowing me.  Actually, I was quite amused and had a few good laughs at what they had built into their own bitter delusions.  However, it dawned on me a couple of days ago that what these commenters were truly proving was that I was right about Smart all along.  These very commenters had done the work for me.  They had literally and unwittingly, proven my points for me about Smart’s work and how it affects people, right there in their annoyed, bitter, enraged and deranged comments or diatribes.  Though I still couldn’t publish most of them due to their bawdy and smuttily worded nature, I recognized that Smart supporters were doing a wonderful job of promoting what not to watch or who not to follow in this case.  They were in effect, telling others, what one becomes from watching Smart and what little good Smart’s plethora of videos and advice truly has on people and their minds.  I didn’t have to do anything.  I only have to publish these comments to prove my points.  At least, those that were fit for the human eye, anyway.

It has also occurred to me through watching the trend in search terms that more and more people are now questioning Smart and whether or not he’s legit or a fraud to some extent or another.  At the least, they are in search of more information on him than what Smart has given them or is giving to them.  There’s reason why people like Smart are extremely careful to cover their tracks and only give out what information that they want you to know but, nothing else.  Think about that for a second.  Has it processed through your mind and thinking that anyone who has nothing to hide, will offer up more about themselves than what they will keep hidden?  While some of you might be saying, “but he’s a private person” (perhaps, with explicatives added to that statement), you might want to question that a bit further and more deeply.  For those who are saying, “we know all we need to know about him and it’s all for free”, ask yourself one question, “really?”  Do you really know Ralph Smart based upon his videos and is it really free or is he making money off of your free viewing?  You might be surprised at the answers if you’re being truly honest with yourself.

Yes, Smart has a calming, charming presence on camera in those videos.  What he says during them is also what people want to hear but, he knows that much.  He’s learned it and he’s “acting” for the camera and for you.  He’s saying what you want to hear to keep you hooked on watching. There’s also reason why he’s careful to only let you know what he wants you to know.  You’re not going to find much about him on the net other than what he wants out there.  While some of you are likely saying, “that’s wise to not let out anything personal about yourself on the net”, ask yourself if you can be assured that he’s not created pseudo-names or other nicks or aliases that you’d never know were him.  After all, isn’t that possible?  If you’re still saying “no…there’s no way…Smart is too busy (as he’d say), ‘helping others’ to have the time to do that,” ask yourself if you can prove that to yourself or not.  You don’t need to prove it to me but, you do need to do some real questioning if you’re not questioning him at all. Can any human being always be happy, smiling, calm, not upset?  No.  There’s your answer right there.  Smart isn’t either but, you’re not going to see that in him because he doesn’t want you to see it.  He wants you to believe that he’s found the fountain of eternal happiness.  He hasn’t found it.  He simply portrays that he has for the 20 or so minutes you’ll see him in one of video-a-day videos that he creates.  I can stay smiling and positive for that long.  Everyone can do it.  Smart hasn’t found the answers to Life or the meaning to it anymore than you have.  Trust in that and stop believing that if you watch enough of his videos and follow everything he says, you will.  You won’t.

From my little corner of life, there’s more to a person than appearances will give on the net.  You cannot form a conclusion (either good or bad) based upon what they are saying out here in cyber space.  That goes for me as well.  You don’t know me.  You couldn’t possibly know me and frankly, you don’t know Ralph Smart either no matter how calm he makes you feel.  He’s not who he portrays himself to be in those videos to the world.  He’s a marketer who is out to make money and perhaps, has convinced himself that he’s “helping millions” by doing so.

Have a great day or evening.  Blessings, stay well, Love and Light.

 

 

Laura Mae, Youtube’s (Lose It Like Lauren) Has Lost The Weight But Still Struggles With Her Life And Unhappiness

Anyone who has been looking for weight loss tips, will likely have run across “LoseItLikeLauren’s” channel.  This young British woman has lost some 147 lbs, without surgery and without a program. She’s done this all on her own and is to be commended for her achievements, without doubt.

Lose It Like Lauren

First of all, I wish to express that I really like this young woman and her sense of humour about herself and her entire journey.  She’s truly an inspiration for people of all ages who wish to lose weight but more so, she’s a leader to look up to for the twenty to thirty-something crowd as she was in that age group when she began to lose weight but, now in her 30’s and still making videos weekly with regards to both how she started as well as how she’s kept it off.  In total, her journey has been about 6 years thus far and she’s documented quite a bit of it on Youtube.  Truly commendable.

Where Lauren has started to fall from grace in my opinion is in her obsession with her weight and, in keeping it honest, her lack of a life beyond her weight loss.  Lauren, herself has also commented that she has spent a good portion of the past 6 or more years of her life, focused on losing weight.  She has no job, lives with her mom still, gets depressed and has no lasting relationship in spite of being gorgeous, intelligent as well as intellectual and humorous.  In short, Lauren has created a life around her weight rather than herself and her life beyond weight loss.

For all intents and purposes, someone like Lauren who has focused on her preoccupation with her weight and turned it into her life’s purpose, begs the question of whether she focused on this weight loss because she could find nothing of substance otherwise in herself or her life?

While that may sound like an insult towards this young woman and her efforts, it’s truly not.  At this point in time, Lauren has not moved beyond her initial goal of losing that weight and helping others to do the same.  Her focus has remained on her weight loss even though she has long since lost what she set out to lose.  Though I get the idea that she’s simply trying to motivate and help others to do the same, Lauren has not much else going on in her life in pretty much everything else and has become depressed.  It’s highly likely that she’s also running out of ideas for weekly videos.  They have progressed into more or less whining or even speaking through her depressive, tearful and admission sessions.  Her channel has begun to sound more like a washed up star who is desperately trying to cling onto their glory days but is showing their age and unhappiness.

What’s most disturbing to hear is that Lauren speaks of her former heavier self in Third Person as though she’s totally detached herself from the Plus Sized woman that she was before her weight loss.  She giggles and laughs at herself in her early videos, referring to herself as “she” while crying over what she’s accomplished and how different she is.  At the same time, she’s admitting that she’s depressed, has no life, no job, no relationship and would love to travel, do art and photography but, it’s unclear whether she’s not doing any of this because she can’t afford it financially without working a full time job (something she seems unwilling to do) and while lounging around “mom’s house” as an un-working adult child.

There are a few things that watching Lauren’s videos have brought to mind that everyone should take to heart and think about.

Losing weight won’t make you happy unless you love yourself as you are right now.

There’s no doubt that losing weight is healthy if you’re overweight.  Not many people would argue that point.  However, if you’re thinking that losing weight is the Holy Grail towards feeling happy, think again.  Being slimmer can certainly bring you more energy and help you like yourself better but, it won’t solve all of your problems nor, make you love yourself if you don’t already.  As a matter of fact, you may spend all of your time and energy, putting it into your weight loss and thinking you’ll be happier if you’ve lost that excess baggage but, if you didn’t already love yourself before you started into your weight loss journey, you’re not going to suddenly adore yourself once you’ve lost all of the weight that you’ve set out to lose.  Weight loss adds to your love for self but, it doesn’t create it.  Hating yourself as is means that you’re not going to love yourself once you’ve lost that weight.  Many still see themselves as “the fat person” in spite of the scale, clothing label sizes as well as the mirror image.

You have to have a life and goals whether overweight or slim.

It’s likely obvious that Lauren is making some money off of her Youtube channel videos but, it’s reality that Lauren is not making enough money from that or her part time personal trainer’s position to move out from her mother’s home, sustain herself and she’s not able to sustain a romantic relationship.  No matter how much weight she’s lost, she’s still got issues because she didn’t set up goals for herself within her life or create a full life for herself while losing the weight or even once she had done so.

If you don’t have goals, ambitions or a life and keep those things up, adding to them, your weight loss isn’t going to bring you those things either.  You have to begin those things before, during and after you’ve lost the weight or, you’ll find yourself struggling with depression.  Weight loss is not a magic wand.  You are your own creator of your own show, life and purpose and, that is not dependent upon your weight unless you are so heavy that you can’t get out of a chair or walk out of your home.  Even then, you have to have goals for yourself and your life outside of losing weight.  It cannot be your sole focus as Lauren has done in her own life.

Sadly, we are a society that both adores slim and even thin people while we’ve become an increasingly overweight and even obese society.  Even those who are slim, seem to hate something about their bodies and themselves in this day and age of celebrities, thinness, red carpet looks and plastic surgery.  However to think that your life will be peachy-keen if you were to just lose that extra weight, is naive, false and won’t lead you any closer to being happy than staying heavier.  You may squeeze yourself into a size 0 or 2 now instead of a 20 or 22 but, your problems, issues, lack of self-love and relationships will still be there unless you, yourself, make the inner changes as well to invite happiness into your life.  One look at the celebrities who have had the plastic surgery, walking the red carpet with designer clothing and adoring fans who hunt them down for selfies and autographs will tell you to look beneath the surface.  Many of them, in spite of being stick and bone thin, dressed to the 9’s with seemingly everything at their finger tips, including admirers, have also been in therapy or are self-medicating themselves with prescription or street drugs and dealing with broken marriages, relationships as well as children who have run amok.  Self-love has to come before anything else can make you happy, including losing weight.

While, of course, I wish Lauren every happiness in this world, I also can see a young woman who now has to free herself from making herself, her life and who she is based on her weight loss. She has to venture out into the world and create a life of her own now.  Her weight loss is behind her and while much like an alcoholic, she will likely always have to work on keeping weight at bay, she also has to learn to love herself and move forward and away from her weight in order to be happy in her life now.  It’s just time from what I’m hearing from her in her videos.  She’s not a happy person in spite of losing an entire person’s worth of weight and won’t be contented until she reaches out into the world and does something she enjoys with herself and her life.

Remember: weight loss is a health issue but, it’s only an adjunct to happiness.  If you’re not a happy person to begin with, you’re not going to be a suddenly happy person once you’ve lost your excess weight.  You need to be happy with you as you are right now, at the weight that you are and success in weight loss adds to that happiness but, doesn’t create it.  At least, that’s the way that I’m seeing LoseItLikeLauren from my little corner of life.