I Know Who My REAL Friends Are

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I know who my real friends are because…they are there for me when I’m down, not just when THEY are down. They are there when I need an ear, shoulder/help, not just when THEY need them. They are the first to say, “yes” when I need help, even if I don’t ask because they know that I do it for them. They are there to share the good things that happen too, not just call me or come to my door when something is going wrong and they need something. They fill me in on what they’ve told me and have been worried about, no matter how it goes because they KNOW that I am concerned for them and, they don’t forget about filling me in or letting me know what happened along the way or, when the storm has passed and they’ve moved on because they know that I will let them know the outcome of my situations too. They call me just to see how I’m doing, not because they have a problem or expect me to do something because it’s “expected” from me. They are as concerned about me as I am about them. They aren’t playing a game, texting someone else or cut me off to take a better phone call or do something else they want to do while I’m pouring out my heart to them because they know that I’m all ears when THEY are pouring out theirs. Most of all, they WANT to be around me and make the effort to do so as I do with them. I know who my true friends are. They do too.

You Don’t Know Me From My Writing

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Why is it that a blog writer can write piece after piece on all sorts of topics and get no comments, likes or attention however, when there’s a piece that someone disagrees with, there will be comments.  I mean COMMENTS, half or better which are unfit for other human eyes and need to be deleted or dumped into the trash bucket. Poor trash bucket.

There’s a game that bloggers play it seems. They tend to like one another’s blog without having read more than half to one entry.  Sometimes, they don’t read a word.  It’s like an advertising campaign to get another blogger to like their blog in return.  These are not the people I’m talking about here.  They rarely leave nasty comments, if any response at all because that’s not who they are or what they are about nor, why they are around in the first place.  The ones that I’m referring to, are those who have used a search engine to find information, find a piece in a blogger’s blog and proceed to insult the writer.  Oftentimes, the comments are so raunchy that they cannot be approved for the public to read.

In the nearly 5 years now that I’ve been writing this blog, I’ve learned to become a bit more bold in what topics I write about.  Most of my pieces are of the “Opinion” category which technically means that I’m writing my own thoughts and opinions on a topic that either someone else has brought up with me during a week, some news story or perhaps, simply a personal experience that has evoked both thoughts and emotions in me enough to write about them. In other words, my blog is what has been inspired by something or someone who gives me the impetus to write something on it and, even though I have often researched facts for the piece, it’s written from the perspective that I, personally have derived from that topic and those facts or experiences.

When I write something, it’s because I have a) researched the topic and written the piece with what is known at that time about the matter I’ve written about or, b) it’s purely personal opinion or experience.  None of them are invitations for personal insults nor, the type of pathetic comments that I have had to trash because they would cause my blog to become an X-rated place.

The saddest thing of all is that none of the insulting commenters have read many or perhaps, any of the other hundreds of pieces that I’ve written.  They judge me according to the one or two pieces or the singular topic that they’ve chosen to read.

Let me get one thing perfectly straight to those who have comments like that.  Yes, this is the internet and you are somewhat protected behind your computer screens in saying whatever you wish to say.  However, take note that you do NOT know me because you’ve read a piece or two that I’ve written on a topic that you have had interest in reading.  You may think that because of your anonymity behind the net that you’re feeling freer to say what you want to say, let me assure you that I can also see through you with your comments especially, the horrific comments that I’ve had to trash.  Intelligence levels are showing when a commenter decides to defer to personal insults and attacks or crude and rude comments.

Before someone goes off into those types of comments on a post or subject, I invite you to read other pieces I’ve written first.  I can pretty much tell which of the rude or insulting commenters have read what pieces and why they are resorting to such low-level comments or personal attacks.  If they have read more than the one piece and commented on one or more with vulgar or thoughtless statements, they have tied or connected one to another of similar topic or content and think that they know me as a person to attack or simply because it’s easy to sit behind a computer screen bravely insulting the writer.

From my little corner of life, don’t look now but, for those types of commenters, you have shown yourself and painted a picture of who you are that I and others can see right through.

Have a wonderful day and remember…you don’t know me because you’ve read one of my blog pieces.

Blessings

 

Dear Prime Minister Trudeau: A Canadian Letter On Dealing With President Trump

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Dear Justin:

We know that your good looks, charm and ability to awe crowds with your speeches and our money has gotten you as far as The Donald’s rants and lunatic acts have gotten him but, the time has come for you to actually act like Canada’s Prime Minister by standing up for Canadians with Trump at the helm now.

Your endless trips, handing out money all over the globe may have to be curtailed because you have Trump to deal with now and it’s going to take a lot of thinking, not charm or boyish good looks to win this one for the Canadian peoples that you have been sworn in to serve and protect.

It’s a well known fact that Canadians are polite and will try not to ruffle feathers however, that tactic will likely not work on Mr. D.J..  Giving him a congratulations and an extended hand to shake then, traveling off to other foreign countries or yet your 10,000th trip across Canada isn’t going to cut the mustard with a man who has more money than God and a mouth to boot.  Just as you don’t know what you’re doing as Prime Minister because you were never really a politician (no, you can’t count being the son of one), Trump wasn’t either.  Equally, just as Trump got into The White House because voters were fed up with politicians in Washington, you got in because voters up here were fed up with the status quo in the Conservatives.  Oh yes, and your pretty boy smile and muscles and…well….let’s not forget that you have your father’s last name too.

Let’s not forget that Trump is like a bull in a China shop while you’re still playing the role of the nice kid in the playground, giving out candy to be liked.  It isn’t going to work on Trump.  He hates candy and nice kids.  He wants to go out there, build walls around the country and grab women’s p*ssies.  Still want to play ball with him nicely?

Prime Minister Trudeau, do you think that you could grow a pair as well as a real back bone and stand up for the voters in Canada who voted you into office, keeping our rights and wellbeing in mind as you engage in politics with President Trump?  Do you think you could stay in one place long enough (Parliament would be nice) to build a strategy for dealing with Trump when he dumps Canada’s sorry arse into the Atlantic or Pacific ocean or decides that another wall between our two countries would balance out the one he wants Mexico to pay for?  Or, will you simply hand him over the money, straighten your tie, gel your hair and go on with your days in office?  Please don’t try to hone your Twitter skills.  Trump has that down pat already.

Canadians may be a polite bunch, eh?  However, we can guarantee you that there’s enough Canadians who will put on running shoes and march the streets of the major cities in Canada if you aren’t on guard for us.  Despite the cost of gas, our Loonie being worth nothing against the green back, we can still get to those cities to protest loud and clear.  Don’t make us do it, please.

Sincerely,

The Canadian Peoples

 

Happiness Part V: We Know Too Much

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Day in and day out, we are being bombarded with information.  Some of it will be correct and some of it will prove to be incorrect yet, we will absorb it all as though through osmosis.  Whether we are truly paying attention or we’re subliminally and subconsciously picking it up, we have most of that info, rumbling around in our brains somewhere and it’s acting upon us like a slow release pill, coming out in dribs and drabs. It’s likely that we don’t even recognize that info is there or that we’re utilizing it in one way or another.  Our brains are wonderous machines with a filing system that makes computers look like toys.  Reality is, we know far more than we need to know and it’s causing us both stress and distress.  It’s a road block to being happy.

Remember back a few entries ago when the scenario of children being happy was the centre point of that piece?  If not, you can review it here.  Part of the reason that children are generally happy is that they don’t know enough to be un-happy.  Not only have the brains of children not developed enough but, they don’t know enough to be upset, stressed, worried or any of the adult things that we, as adults, have come to learn to do.  They live in moment because they can’t really foresee much trouble in the future.  Ignorance is sometimes, bliss.

Let me give a scenario here that may help demonstrate that point better.

Two men are in a car, stuck on railway tracks.  They cannot move back nor forward.  The elder gentleman in the car has a form of dementia and is busily reminiscing about days gone by that he remembers with fondness.  The younger gentleman, fully able to compute the dangers of what is happening, is trying not to frighten the older man while trying to start the car again with no success.  Off in the distance, he sees the faint lights of an oncoming train and keeps trying to start the car, filled with panic now.  The elder man is completely unaware of what is happening and continues on his trip down memory lane with pure joy and delight, laughter and a smile while beads of sweat drip down the younger man’s forehead.  Finally, in vain, as the train approaches rapidly, the younger man exits the car, opens the door of the passenger’s side and drags the old man out of the car to safety.  The train soon demolishes the car into a tangled heap of metal before coming to a stop.  The young man tries to catch his breath while the elder gentleman simply says, “why did you stop me?  I wasn’t finished my story.”  Both men experienced the same situation.  The difference in their reactions were simply that the younger man knew what was going to happen while the elder man was blissfully unaware of the danger lurking down the tracks.

None of this is to say that we shouldn’t be aware of dangers or ignorant of facts nor, uneducated.  What it is saying is that we are overloaded with information that oftentimes, is false, misleading and most importantly, un-needed.  We can’t be child-like because we now know too much.  As a matter of fact, we know more than we really need to know and that, in and of itself, causes stress, distress and un-happiness.  We are now incapable of simply living in the moment and being amused with simple things like the taste of our coffee, the smell of freshly cut grass, the clouds that are floating past us above, the purr of our cat, the sound of a stream, a song that we love or many other of the most soothing and amusing things in Life.  Instead, we are analyzing everything silly, thinking about what lays ahead, how much damage it’s doing to us and the world, some study that proves that the caffeine in our wonderful tasting coffee can kill us or how the water in our bottle of water might pollute the earth or be polluted by the chemicals in the plastic bottle or wax that lines the paper take-out cup is toxic.  We’re usually reading or listening to the news which is filled with doom and gloom as that is what sells air/paper time and we’re using technology devices such as our cell phones to look up more crazy-making information.  The list is endless as to how information is slowly not only taking away our happiness and ability to be happy but, is potentially causing us stress that will or could kill us sooner or later.

How many shootings do we need to hear about before we can say, “there’s a lot of kids, killing others with guns”?  How many studies have we all heard, read or talked about that eventually get reversed or at the least, changed because newer studies have proven differently and yet, we’ve given up that great tasting coffee or bread or eggs and, it’s now not only ok to have them but, we find out we should have been having them all along as they’re beneficial to us?  How many car accidents do we need to see on the news at night with people we never met, don’t know and never will know before we get the idea that driving a car in today’s world and in traffic or driving distracted or impaired, can kill us? Do we really need 24/7 news stations that cover a story live and have “experts” on panel to discuss every nuance of the situation?

The bottom line is that we have far too much information floating around in our heads that not only don’t serve us beyond simply having a fact/knowledge but, are harming us in one way or another.  It’s all certainly a stumbling block towards being happy.

If you want to feel a bit happier,

  • Turn off the news or put down that newspaper
  • Quit Googling or Binging or whatever search engine you use for a bit
  • Turn off your cell phone or use it to actually CALL a friend or relative and enjoy talking to them instead of texting or ignoring them.
  • Stop taking every study too seriously because it will eventually turn out to be changed or reversed by another that will follow.
  • Either turn up your favourite music and sing or dance with it or, listen to the birds chirping, the stream sounds or your cat purring for a change
  • Watch a comedy or inspirational movie instead of a horror, police or crime show
  • Read a book or story with an inspirational message behind it
  • Buy yourself an adult colouring book and colour for a change.  Heck, get out the crayons and colour a child’s colouring book.
  • Ditch the “Know-It-Alls” who are walking encyclopedias but, are as negative as hell
  • Limit time with or eliminate those people who are bringing you nothing but headaches or demands for you doing something for them
  • Spend more time with people who make you feel good and most of all, make you laugh
  • Get silly. Roll down a hill, play with toys, splash around in a local pool just for the fun of being in water and weightless or buy yourself a teddy bear.  Seriously.
  • Stay out of your head and thinking for even an hour a day.  Just pay attention to things around you that are soothing and relaxing.  If you can’t find that, find them in your memory bank.  They’re there, believe it or not.
  • Be thankful for what you have right now even if it’s not your dream situation
  • Set aside a worry time of 20 minutes where you write your worries out into a dollar store notebook then shut the journal and tell yourself worry time is over until your next planned session then, get on with something light, silly and funny

These are just a few ideas.  There are plenty more.  If you’re going to Google anything, search for ways to have fun.

Stay light, stay laughing, stay away from people or information that brings you down to a stressed out level as much as possible.  Just be.  Be in the moment and enjoy the little things in Life.  Be happy!

Blessings, Love and Light from my little corner of life to yours.

 

Why Do Vegans Proselytize

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I’ve had it up past my ear lobes with Vegans lately, trying to turn Society into Apostles of Veganism.  Do they not realize that it’s akin to having a religious cult coming to us and trying to get us to convert to their religion?  It’s annoying to say the least. To say it as it is, I’m ready to strangle the next Vegan who tries to spout off how superior they are for their menu choices.

By all means, if strawberries, almond milk and quinoa are your thing, eat it until you look like one or many of them.  I won’t stop you.  I honestly don’t care what you eat or don’t eat.  That’s your choice.  Remember that point.  It’s not mine.  Get it….it’s not my eating choices.  It’s yours.

Yes, I know you’re going to spout off in great detail as to how inhumanely animals are raised and slaughtered.  Don’t bother bringing out the Power Point presentation as I’ve heard it all before.  Really…I have.

Hormones and chemicals secreted in meats and dairy products especially, just before slaughter?  Oh, snap…no!  I’ve never heard that before.  I don’t have Google and don’t know how to look things up.  Gosh, I must learn how to do that.  Maybe, I haven’t eaten enough Acai?

I’m not about to get into the entire debate about eating whatever and the arguments one can bring out on both sides of the coin. However, I do know a few people who have put their cats on a Vegan/Vegetarian diet (obligate carnivores for their systems) and the cats died.  Wonder why?  I also know people who have put their small children, babies and toddlers onto Vegan/Vegetarian eating patterns and not supplied the necessary supplements as they grew so, the children have health issues now.  Again…wonder why?  To add one further point, I know Vegans/Vegetarians who will go to great lengths to spew out how we are saving animals, they love animals etc. but, will not have a cat, dog, fish, bird or any other form of animal nor, take them into their care because “they make messes in their homes”.  Just “WOW” is all that I can say when they get to that point.

Let me say this as simply as I can.

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU EAT.  I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DON’T EAT.  I DON’T CARE IF YOU EAT LIKE A RABBIT.  YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TURN ME INTO A VEGAN UNLESS I SUDDENLY DECIDE THAT IT’S WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME.  

There, I’ve said it.  I’m sure that I’m not alone in saying what millions of meat eaters want to say but, fear getting into a debate over.

Whether you’ve chosen to be a Vegan, Vegetarian or you’re an Omnivore, you have the right to do what you wish.  It’s your choice but, respect the fact that I have mine and I really and truly do not want you in my face about your eating patterns.  If I want to know about your eating patterns, I will ask you.  You don’t need to ram it down my throat, ok?

Ok.  Enough said.  Point across.

Blessings, Love and Light from my little corner of life.

(Addition Jan. 25, 2017:  Dear Readers, I will no longer be reading, approving or responding to comments on this blog post.  Thank you.)  

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas Is Cancelled This Year

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Christmas is coming up, fast now.  If you’re Christian, you know what I mean and you’re feeling the pressure building.  If you’re not Christian, you have your holidays and can empathize.  However, this year, I’m feeling nostalgic as well as rather lost in a lot of ways.  In a way, while emotionally draining, I’m not feeling the stress that I usually feel.  I will explain what I mean by this statement but, I’m thinking that The Kranks (Christmas With The Kranks)   likely had the right original idea in skipping Christmas altogether and taking off for a tropical vacation.

First the lack of stress…with visions of The Griswolds in “Christmas Vacation” dancing through my head.

I used to be the accommodating family member who would take over all of the holiday meals and would shop for everyone until there were gifts galore all over the place.  I could barely stand up the day after Christmas and would have a nervous break down when the credit card bills started coming in the end of January.  It would take me months of penny scrimping and creative meals, no buying anything not needed 100% to dig us out of that financial nightmare.  Yes, we were saps.

Over the years, the family has diminished, not grown.  Most of my family has now passed away as has my husband’s family members.  What little family both of us do have left now, are not or barely speaking to us.  You see, we started having to say, “sorry…no” to things.  Hubby and I used to be the biggest doormats around for everyone and let’s just say that no one liked it when we had to politely start setting some boundaries and saying “no” to requests for money, money and more money that we didn’t have to begin with and couldn’t help them out anymore.  Worst, was our own daughter who found herself a boyfriend and they wanted to smoke weed in our home, with our 3 young nephews present and we told them to take it elsewhere.  No one left, likes having us say, “sorry…we can’t” so, they’ve kept their distance.  That leaves us alone for Christmas this year.  I’m not sure if it’s sad or if I should rejoice as I won’t have to scrimp and save to pay off the bills this year nor, do the work for everyone to enjoy?

What I do know is that it’s making me think twice about being too giving from here on out and learning to set up boundaries.  People don’t seem to like the fact that we finally stopped being a bank service or allowing things that aren’t right because we feared the back-lash from them if we said that simple word, “no”.  We’ve found that out and it was a shock at how they reacted to it.  It’s amazing how much people will take and appear to care when they are getting what they want out of you but, put the plug in the giving and they suddenly stop caring about you altogether.

We’re not quite sure what we will do for Christmas this year and, don’t get me wrong, it’s not relished by us that people have taken on this attitude with us but, it’s an eye opener to know that we were always considered not much more than a wish granter and morons to any of them. Their true colours and motives have shown through, including during a recent health issue where I required surgery and not one person bothered to pick up the phone to ask how I was feeling even when it didn’t go well.  Sadly, I realize that in spite of being blood related, it doesn’t mean caring about us but, we won’t be going down the same path of giving and laying down for these same people to wipe their feet on any longer.

As Christmas approaches, we’ve put up our lights at the usual time with the rest of our neighbours.  We’re about to put up our Christmas tree where the cat will knock it down a few times or the dog.  We’ll go on about our days the best that we can but, our hearts will not feel the same about Christmas again nor, will they feel the same about these family members, including our only child who is now an adult and estranged from us because we finally had the nerve to say “no” to them all for differing reasons.

I don’t know what we will do this Christmas but, I do know one thing.  We won’t be in debt this year, over-worked or exhausted and eating hamburg 100 ways for the next 6 months to pay off those Christmas bills that gave everyone a wonderful Christmas which obviously wasn’t appreciated to begin with.

However, from my little corner of life, that may be something that will be a relief and perhaps, the best Christmas we’ve had in decades.  Time will tell and I’m about to search for places to go have dinner out and make reservations.  Ahhh…to not have to shop, clean, set up, cook, serve, clean up and wear myself out this year.  That might be a nice change of pace.  In other words, Christmas as we knew it, has been cancelled this year.  I might like it.

 

 

Does My Husband Really Hear Me Or Is he Ignoring Me?

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It sounds laughable and perhaps, even comical….sometimes….but, for the most part, it’s become more than simply an annoyance when your husband is constantly asking you “what?” after everything you say to him, including long explanations.  There isn’t enough time nor, energy in the world to keep repeating every word you say or have said over a day’s time.  It’s exhausting to say the least.  I’d wring his neck but, it’s illegal.

I’m not joking when I write that everything that I say to the man, literally, has to be said 2, 3 or 4 times before he “hears it” and, I practically have to be yelling where he takes offence.  Worse than that, he has no hearing problems.  I should know because I sent him to have his hearing checked, telling him that I would definitely apologize to him if he did have a hearing impairment.  His tests came back “perfect hearing”.

The man hears what he wants to hear.  If there’s someone he wants to talk to or there’s a ball game on television, in spite of traffic noise that could drown out a fog horn, he hears.

So, what are the potential issues if an audiologist has deemed him with no hearing loss or problems and he can’t hear me when I’m right beside him?

  • The tone of my voice gets drowned out.  Perhaps, there’s a certain frequency that he “tunes out of” and my voice is one of them?  Wouldn’t surprise most women, I’m sure to know that their husbands are quite capable of attuning their brains to only understanding frequencies that don’t match those of their spouses. However, that doesn’t hold water much because I’ve tried changing the pitch of my voice and changing what I’m saying to him.  No winners there.
  • He doesn’t want to hear me ask him to do anything.  That might be a possibility except that I could be saying “dinner is ready” and he doesn’t seem to hear that either.
  • His brain cannot process what his ears pick up. That would fit the bill if he couldn’t comprehend the football, baseball or soccer games via radio or one of his buddies’ phone calls over a small cell phone.  He can understand all that so, I have to assume that it’s not that his brain can’t compute.
  • He’s lost in his own little world and only hears what he selectively wants to hear better than 90% of the time.  This is more than likely the cause of his “hearing loss” when it comes to my voice.

I’m betting that it’s the last idea that is his problem.  He’s likely allowing himself to be lost in an inner world of some making that he only comes out of when it’s convenient for him or, he wants to be out of it because there’s something more interesting for him when out of it.  That must mean that he finds me either terribly boring or, he’s really avoiding responsibilities or being asked to do anything or, that the little world he seems to dwell in, is really exciting.  Or, it could mean that it’s so peaceful in there, being empty that he loves being there.  I’d say it’s exciting but, he doesn’t appear to have many insightful thinking of his own. At least, not from what I hear coming from his mouth to me or anyone else for that matter.  There’s no “light bulb moments” that he has or expresses.  As a matter of fact, he seems to express very little other than surface conversation with anyone I’ve ever seen him talk to.  He also quickly seems to be able to snap out of it when there’s “blame” placed upon him for not doing something because he’s extremely quickly heard every word and responded with an “if you can do better….you do it,” type answer.

Whatever the issue is or, whatever the reason is for him not hearing me or my voice, I’m tired.  Repeating everything 2, 3 or 4 times is totally mind-blowingly exhausting.  I’ve even begun sentences with nonsense words such as “gobbledeegook” to see if he’ll budge an inch.  Nope.  Nothing is said…not even a “what?”  Does that mean that he hears my voice but, could care less about anything that I have to say?  Perhaps, my next sentence should start with…”I’m having a torrid love affair with…..” and wonder if he’ll hear that?  If he claps with glee….he’s been drowning out my voice and is totally tired and fed-up with me.

The real issue here is that I could be in trouble, dying or needing help quickly and the man just doesn’t hear me.  What then?  Is it Life Alert for me next?  May as well.  At least “it” will hear me.

From my little corner of life, I’m wiped right out of trying to talk to him and, likely won’t be uttering more than I absolutely have to anymore.  In fact, any time that I do have to speak to him about anything since we live in the same house, I’m going to be sure to stand 2 inches from his face, literally be up in it, catch his attention speak really slowly, enunciating every word as though speaking to a nearly deaf person and perhaps, between his hearing and lip reading, he’ll get what I’m saying.  I’ll reserve my energy the rest of the time for pillow punching, instead.

Maybe….I just need to run away from home?