Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) Commenters Save Your Breath

Don’t make me do it.  Don’t make me delete my pieces on Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep from Youtube) or worse yet, write an even more blazing set of pieces than I already have written.  Oh GASP!  I can hear the shouts, cries, inflamed souls as well as the  trashy explicatives people would call me for having done it.  They are already echoing in my ears and brain.

I went to the lengths of putting a note on all of my blog pieces about Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) that I would no longer be reading, publishing or responding to any further comments about those pieces while asking readers to read something else on my blog from the several hundred pieces that I’ve written on differing topics.  Yet, Ralph Smarters or “The Cultists” as I have come to call and know them can’t seem to help themselves.  They have some sort of nagging need to defend this man with oftentimes, vulgar or insulting messages that I wouldn’t lower myself to respond to, let alone, publish for the rest of my readers. That’s telling me that there’s desperation within a good majority of those commenters who are sadly, Ralph Smart followers, living, breathing and taking in his every word.

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I re-paid a visit to Ralph’s channel on Youtube (no links need to be given here as the chap does a good enough job of self-promotion already.)  What I found were his “worshippers”.  Nearly 100% of them who commented on his videos were young, inexperienced, gullible and seemingly, brainwashed by Smart’s constant barrage of videos that he puts out in a week.  It was then that I realized that those who were commenting on my pieces, are in fact, (in their minds) defending their idol.  Smart has turned himself into both an idol for these younger people as well as a cult-leader.

“Seven Day Vegan Challenge.  Can I get a HELLLO?  PEEEACE.  And we ain’t even had breakfast yet.  Slow motion to this side.”

People have accused me of being bitter, salty, hate-filled, jealous, in love with him and a plethora of other idiotic labels because my pieces were not glorifying Smart.  In spite of me having said in many of them that I had once been binge-watching Smart’s videos until I figured out what he was doing to everyone, people still kept pounding at me and continue to do so.  I have written many more pieces since then but, those coming in, do so because they’ve done a search for Smart or info on him and found my blog.  They only read what they see in those pieces that turn up in their search but, nothing else I’ve written in my several hundred pieces over the past 5 years and somehow, ignorantly assume that they know everything about me.  That’s where the nasty, raunchy comments come into play that I trash because they’re not fit for the human eye let alone my readers.

More than anything, I have to wonder what it is that they are really taking away from Smart’s messages.  It seems that their anger, bitterness, hatred and even self-esteem is still rock bottom to write comments as they do.  More to the point, they don’t seem to have gotten any of Smart’s messages.  If they did, they wouldn’t be writing the types of comments that they’ve written.  Then, it hit me squarely in the face.  The answer was right there all along.

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Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) has given out few, if any, good, loving or helpful messages.

One need only to have seen the sheer numbers of people who have written to Smart and received no answer from him.  The begging, the pleading, the bargaining from these commenters both here and on his videos are pathetically showing the desperation that these followers have within themselves.  These are not necessarily whole, healthy, self-esteemed people.  These are broken or lost youngsters in search of either an idol, someone to tell them how to live their lives or even (in some cases) a parental figure.  However, Smart will charge you an arm and a leg for his time and the ability to talk to him.  Try to the tune of 350 British Pounds for an hour’s worth of time with him that is undefined as to what that session or time with him contains.

Laughable was the fact that the majority of Smart’s followers, are too young to have that kind of money.  He’s aimed his audience at a target group who will only ever follow his free Youtube videos and beg for him to contact them.  It’s sad to see people leaving their email addresses in public, pleading with him to write to them when he barely re-visits their comments.  He’s already moved onto his next video that he releases daily but, they don’t and won’t see that in him.  After all, he’s a role model, an idol, a “Guru” and akin to a cult leader to them.  He’s got the viewers alright but, he’s got the viewers who will likely never purchase a thing from him and that is what he wants…purchases.  He wants his bills paid by them because he doesn’t want to work a 9 to 5 job and has admitted that in many of his videos.  In effect, he wants troubled young people to pay his bills.

Good idea but, wrong crowd, Ralph.

More comical are the words that he utters in most of his videos.

“I’ve been helping millions of people for many, many years now,” he says, never wiping the smile from his face while I can’t stop the laughter coming from mine.

At this writing, Smart is still 30 years old.  He started Infinite Waters Diving Deep as a Youtube channel about 3 or 4 years ago.  So, how many years has he been “helping millions” as he phrases it as though delusional?  The math can speak for itself.

Still un-proven as no one who complains has yet to be able to give me a credible source that actually states that Smart is a real, certified psychologist as he claims.  While we know that he obtained a combined degree in Psychology and Criminology, that B.A. doesn’t make him either a Criminologist nor a Psychologist.  Being a psychologist requires either a PhD or a Master’s degree and at least 3 years doing clinical work as well as writing a board exam to get his license.  To the best of my research, Smart did none of this.

As a matter of fact, the closest that I’ve been able to find of Smart having done anything “clinical” comes in the form of him, having been placed in (yes, I am not joking or exaggerating this point as he admits it on a video of his during his early days linked HERE where he appears almost “manic”) a Psychiatric Ward, himself and given meds.  Don’t believe me?  Watch for yourself.  The link is there, above.  However, it did lead me to question whether above and beyond Smart’s split B.A. in psychology, if he had considered that hospital stay his accreditation in being a “psychologist”.  While I haven’t been in a psychiatric ward of any type even as a visitor for someone else, I have studied psychology myself and, as stated in another piece, I do not consider myself a psychologist because I have accreditation in some psychology education yet, apparently he does.  Again, if anyone has a credible source as to Smart’s accreditation as a psychologist, please let me know and I will reconsider at least that portion of his claims.

Several people have asked me what is wrong with him making money off of his time?  There’s nothing wrong with him doing that however, having said that, he charges an arm and a leg for it.  If you doubt me, as I’ve said in a previous piece, try this converter and see what 350 British Pounds amounts to in your part of the world with THIS CONVERTER.  In my part of the world, with today’s exchange rate, that’s over $576 for one hour.  Even a real psychologist doesn’t get paid that much and how he can expect younger people who make up the bulk of his viewers can afford that is beyond me.

Many have said, “I don’t buy anything off of him.  His Youtube videos are free.  I watch them and get so much out of them.  He makes no money off of them or me.”

I have news for those who think that Smart isn’t making money off of his videos.  Even if you aren’t buying his ridiculously priced, undefined sessions that are without description or merit, his books or his cd’s, Smart makes money off of every click that he gets onto one of his videos from Youtube.  Why do you think that he’d spend the time to put out so many of them?  Do you really believe that he’s doing it out of the goodness of his heart?  How does he pay his bills?  Have you asked yourself those questions?  I’ll bet not.  Yet, you’ll spend the time to write comments on both his videos, begging him to write to you, talk to you or praising him or, you’ll write to me to blast me for what I’ve written about him.  Are you thinking for yourself as you do that?  Can you not see what he’s doing to you and others?  Give him an “A” for marketing.

Finally, if you are reading this, please note that it’s a waste of your time to write to me with raunchy defensive or defending style comments as I will NOT be reading, publishing or responding to them as I’ve posted on the bottoms of the rest of my blog pieces.

From my little corner of life, I’m too busy writing other pieces about other topics and Ralph Smart is of little consequence to me.  What does become my business are the comments that I have to trash every day that a search engine sends to this blog by people who are searching for something on him.  Just what they are searching for is only a guess but, I’d hazard one to say that people are searching for further information on him because they either love him or they are skeptical as I was.  Either way, good luck.  He’s been careful to erase his steps so that you’ll have difficulty finding them on the net.  And, by the way, as far as I have been told by a source, he lives with his sister and mother still. There’s your idol.

And, by the way, I make NO money from this blog nor, do I want to.

I do not hate Ralph Smart nor, do I want to be like him.  I am not jealous nor, in love with him. (I’m old enough to be his mother.  My daughter is older than he is.)  Most of all, I am  far from stupid, a fool, un-enlightened or anything else you can throw in my direction so, hang onto those insults for your enemies in the play-grounds or troll some other place like Twitter.  Trump does it.

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Blessings, Love & Light.

 

 

Dear Prime Minister Trudeau: A Canadian Letter On Dealing With President Trump

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Dear Justin:

We know that your good looks, charm and ability to awe crowds with your speeches and our money has gotten you as far as The Donald’s rants and lunatic acts have gotten him but, the time has come for you to actually act like Canada’s Prime Minister by standing up for Canadians with Trump at the helm now.

Your endless trips, handing out money all over the globe may have to be curtailed because you have Trump to deal with now and it’s going to take a lot of thinking, not charm or boyish good looks to win this one for the Canadian peoples that you have been sworn in to serve and protect.

It’s a well known fact that Canadians are polite and will try not to ruffle feathers however, that tactic will likely not work on Mr. D.J..  Giving him a congratulations and an extended hand to shake then, traveling off to other foreign countries or yet your 10,000th trip across Canada isn’t going to cut the mustard with a man who has more money than God and a mouth to boot.  Just as you don’t know what you’re doing as Prime Minister because you were never really a politician (no, you can’t count being the son of one), Trump wasn’t either.  Equally, just as Trump got into The White House because voters were fed up with politicians in Washington, you got in because voters up here were fed up with the status quo in the Conservatives.  Oh yes, and your pretty boy smile and muscles and…well….let’s not forget that you have your father’s last name too.

Let’s not forget that Trump is like a bull in a China shop while you’re still playing the role of the nice kid in the playground, giving out candy to be liked.  It isn’t going to work on Trump.  He hates candy and nice kids.  He wants to go out there, build walls around the country and grab women’s p*ssies.  Still want to play ball with him nicely?

Prime Minister Trudeau, do you think that you could grow a pair as well as a real back bone and stand up for the voters in Canada who voted you into office, keeping our rights and wellbeing in mind as you engage in politics with President Trump?  Do you think you could stay in one place long enough (Parliament would be nice) to build a strategy for dealing with Trump when he dumps Canada’s sorry arse into the Atlantic or Pacific ocean or decides that another wall between our two countries would balance out the one he wants Mexico to pay for?  Or, will you simply hand him over the money, straighten your tie, gel your hair and go on with your days in office?  Please don’t try to hone your Twitter skills.  Trump has that down pat already.

Canadians may be a polite bunch, eh?  However, we can guarantee you that there’s enough Canadians who will put on running shoes and march the streets of the major cities in Canada if you aren’t on guard for us.  Despite the cost of gas, our Loonie being worth nothing against the green back, we can still get to those cities to protest loud and clear.  Don’t make us do it, please.

Sincerely,

The Canadian Peoples

 

Why Do Vegans Proselytize

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I’ve had it up past my ear lobes with Vegans lately, trying to turn Society into Apostles of Veganism.  Do they not realize that it’s akin to having a religious cult coming to us and trying to get us to convert to their religion?  It’s annoying to say the least. To say it as it is, I’m ready to strangle the next Vegan who tries to spout off how superior they are for their menu choices.

By all means, if strawberries, almond milk and quinoa are your thing, eat it until you look like one or many of them.  I won’t stop you.  I honestly don’t care what you eat or don’t eat.  That’s your choice.  Remember that point.  It’s not mine.  Get it….it’s not my eating choices.  It’s yours.

Yes, I know you’re going to spout off in great detail as to how inhumanely animals are raised and slaughtered.  Don’t bother bringing out the Power Point presentation as I’ve heard it all before.  Really…I have.

Hormones and chemicals secreted in meats and dairy products especially, just before slaughter?  Oh, snap…no!  I’ve never heard that before.  I don’t have Google and don’t know how to look things up.  Gosh, I must learn how to do that.  Maybe, I haven’t eaten enough Acai?

I’m not about to get into the entire debate about eating whatever and the arguments one can bring out on both sides of the coin. However, I do know a few people who have put their cats on a Vegan/Vegetarian diet (obligate carnivores for their systems) and the cats died.  Wonder why?  I also know people who have put their small children, babies and toddlers onto Vegan/Vegetarian eating patterns and not supplied the necessary supplements as they grew so, the children have health issues now.  Again…wonder why?  To add one further point, I know Vegans/Vegetarians who will go to great lengths to spew out how we are saving animals, they love animals etc. but, will not have a cat, dog, fish, bird or any other form of animal nor, take them into their care because “they make messes in their homes”.  Just “WOW” is all that I can say when they get to that point.

Let me say this as simply as I can.

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU EAT.  I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DON’T EAT.  I DON’T CARE IF YOU EAT LIKE A RABBIT.  YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TURN ME INTO A VEGAN UNLESS I SUDDENLY DECIDE THAT IT’S WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME.  

There, I’ve said it.  I’m sure that I’m not alone in saying what millions of meat eaters want to say but, fear getting into a debate over.

Whether you’ve chosen to be a Vegan, Vegetarian or you’re an Omnivore, you have the right to do what you wish.  It’s your choice but, respect the fact that I have mine and I really and truly do not want you in my face about your eating patterns.  If I want to know about your eating patterns, I will ask you.  You don’t need to ram it down my throat, ok?

Ok.  Enough said.  Point across.

Blessings, Love and Light from my little corner of life.

(Addition Jan. 25, 2017:  Dear Readers, I will no longer be reading, approving or responding to comments on this blog post.  Thank you.)  

 

 

 

 

 

Fans Want More Gilmore Girls Beyond The 4 Netflix Episodes Now!

Gilmore Girls Fans, have you watched all of the Netflix Revival, “A Year In The Life” 4 episodes yet?

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If you’re anything like me, you’re uncertain whether there will be any further episodes ever done so, you’re savouring these 4 movie length episodes like they’re your last expensive chocolate piece, trying to drag it all out but, wanting more, more, more thinking that you might not get any more.

I don’t want to spoil this if you haven’t watched all 4 episodes yet but, my panties are in a knot to get it out since I am saving “Fall”, the last episode still as I don’t want to say “goodbye” to any of them and, there’s no word as to whether there will be more, let alone, when. (If you’re a Gilmore Girls fan but, don’t have Netflix, please sit in with someone who does and watch them.  Bring the popcorn and dinner, maybe lunch too and yes, make it junk food and coffee, lots of coffee in true Gilmore Girl tradition.)

Firstly, everything that I’ve seen thus far of 3 of the 4 episodes, have been like an emotional rollercoaster.  Seeing the entire cast some nearly 10 years later, a few more wrinkles a few more pounds after watching the 7 previous seasons over and over and over again for years now, brings my own age to mind.  My own daughter and I used to spend every week, together, parked on the couch, watching this series.  Not only did she grow up with Rory (about the same age) but, we bonded as mother-daughter in watching it, together so, it’s bitter-sweet to see these 4 instalments without knowing if there will be any more.  Sweet because though my daughter has grown and I don’t see her much anymore, I cherish this show beyond belief and was excited to know it was coming back for at least these 4 shows. Bitter, because I want more of it again.  I’m ready.  My tissues, popcorn, junk food and coffee need a reason to be brought out more often again now.

While I don’t want to spoil it for those who haven’t yet watched the last episode “Fall”, I am going to so, turn away if you don’t want to know. *SPOILER ALERT*

Amy Sherman-Palladino and her husband, Dan Palladino had and have a hit on their hands.  They wrote these last four episodes as a “stand alone ending” that they didn’t get to do on the final season.  However, they left it wide open for a total come-back which we all pray happens with Rory announcing that she’s pregnant at the very end.  We don’t know who the father of the baby is or what other reactions Lorelai had afterwards which leaves it all open-ended towards a brand new beginning of the series, not just a “re-boot”.

It would be wonderful to believe that the Palladinos had the idea of watching to see the reaction to these 4 episodes.  I truly hope that they did and purposefully, left the door open for a future that has Gilmore Girls The Fourth Generation coming forth if the fan base was loyal enough and wanting it.  From everything that I have been reading all over the net, the truth is that it has succeeded.  These 4 episodes did not “end” the series.  It began it again.  We all want more.  We are left like thirsty wanderers in a desert, in search of water.  Netflix, The Palladinos and cast of Gilmore Girls, heed our calls.  Your fans want  more, more and more.  What is that telling the Powers That Be?  It’s saying that there’s a market, fan-base and need for this to go forward into more seasons (and we’re not just talking about the literal seasons of the year, but a full fledged re-start of the series.) Television needs it and fans want it.  We need to see more of Rory, Lorelai, Luke, Emily and any other characters who can and want to stay in the series.  We want to see what happens from here on out on a regular basis.  They are like family to we, the fans.  It can’t  be stopped here.  There’s far too many questions left dangling that all this did was thirst us for more Gilmore Girls now.

With pleading out of the way, (yes that was pleading above and hoping Netflix, the Palladinos and cast of Gilmore Girls are hearing all of us, down on bended knees, hands together in prayer formation) there’s a fourth generation Gilmore about the enter the television world.  More than that, Rory seems rather lost and immature, unsure of herself and in need of a role, guidance and a future.  We’d all love to see what she wanted to write about her mother’s life, unfold in the future as we watch and grow with Rory and her child-to-be.  It’s ironic how supported Rory was by her mother, grand-parents, right on through an entire town full of people.  She was almost like “the chosen one” in Stars Hollow.  Yet, she has been one of the most insecure, unsettled, screwed up young woman and it’s showed during these past 4 episodes that we hope are simply meant as a “tester” segue into the launch of future seasons to come like the old Gilmore Girls was for all of us.  Alexis Bledel, who plays “Rory” has done a fantastic job in her acting these 4 episodes.  She has grown as an actress and could very easily bring Rory’s character forward into the future as we watch her grow into her life, self and role as “mother”.  Alexis, we hope you’re reading this as we know you’ve been hesitant to do further work as “Rory”.

Lauren Graham (Lorelai) has done a marvellous job with her acting as has Scott G. Patterson as “Luke Danes”.  Lorelai has had me laughing, crying and wanting coffee.  I want more Lorelai.  Equally, I want more Emily and to see what happens between the pair who seem to be trying to work it out between each other since Richard’s death.  Fans want to see these two fight, work on things, fight more and what will happen with their rocky, mother-daughter relationship as Lorelai becomes a grandmother, Emily becomes a great-grandmother as well as where Luke and Lorelai go with their relationship.  We’d also love to see if Emily grows her business and how another relationship goes for her and the girls.

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Netflix, Amy and Dan Palladino, we have a lot of hunger for more Gilmore Girls.  There is so much to move forward with in a series now that it’s been brought to modern age to suit.  Don’t give up now.  We need more Gilmore Girls in our lives.  Don’t let us all down, please.

From my little corner of life…it would make my day to hear of a future for Gilmore Girls.  Please make my day as Clint Eastwood would say.

 

 

Jesus Christ I’m Not A Robot!

Jesus' lesser known miracle at the wedding.

For the first 40 years of my life, I thought I was Jesus Christ.

Has your draw dropped yet?

No, I’m not insane or psychotic and I don’t mean literally  but, I am extremely sensitive, a people pleaser (though you might not know it from by blog pieces), overly emotional, sentimental and, my dad’s favourite phrase was “Jesus Christ” to pretty much everything I was about to say.

I can remember sitting at a drive-in theatre on a Saturday night, my father in the front seat with my mom beside him and my brother and myself in the back seat.  It was the one treat a month that they could afford to take us to.  That’s about the only time that my father would put up with even hearing Elvis Presley’s voice.

“Jesus Christ,” he’d say, sighing deeply in disgust and throwing his head back.  “I feel another song coming on!  This guy doesn’t act.  He’s going to sing his way through every god-damned one of his movies.”

I used to think my father must have been a tremendously religious man because his second favourite phrase was “god-dammit”.

My brother and I would be already dressed in our pyjamas so that when we’d fall asleep, which usually happened part way through the second movie for the week, my father could carry us into the house and plop us into bed.  The featured movies were never his thing but, the second movie played each time, was for him usually, being a Western of some kind.  Ask me how we slept through gun fights at the O.K. Corral and I couldn’t tell you.  However, I do remember being upset at seeing all of the fighting.  I hated Westerns with a passion and still do but, I remember waking up for part of one movie where even my mother had fallen asleep, only to see a scene where horses were dropping with their riders and laying there.  I began to cry.

“What is your problem?” my father asked, turning around to see me sobbing heavily.

“They killed the horses!” I screeched with pure horror, finally letting it out.

There was complete silence as my dad shook his head in total disbelief while I continued to cry, unable to catch my breath.

“Jesus Christ.  A hundred men have been shot and are laying dead but, you’re crying because one horse is laying there?” he asked, seemingly frustrated with me.

“Yeeesssss,” I blurted out, blubbering even harder.

I don’t remember the full explanation verbatim but, I do remember him trying to explain to me that they were “trick horses” and had been trained to fall over like that and stay laying down, just as the men who were actors were doing.  Somehow, I could understand that men were just acting but, I couldn’t fathom the horses having that kind of training and couldn’t stop crying.  Of course, my father’s movie was ruined so, he started up the car and drove off the lot with me still on my knees, looking behind me at the screen to see yet another horse fall over.  It took me until half way home before I finally settled down enough to stop the heavy crying to simple sniffling the rest of the way home.  It took him over 3 weeks to convince me that it was all just “acting, stunts and training”.  It also took a whole pack of bologne for my father to train our dog to drop, lay down and roll over when he’d point his finger at Sam and say, “bang”.  Sam, the black lab was really fast at learning his trick.

As time went on and I got older, I was still extremely sensitive and emotional.  Just about anything would set me off into an emotional state.  While I was better at hiding it, my dad always knew when I’d gone over that emotional cliff.

“Jesus Christ!” he’d say. “Are you going to go through this again?  Why can’t you let it drop?”

I don’t know why I couldn’t let whatever it was go and apparently, it registered on my face no matter how hard I tried to not show it.

“Grow a thicker skin,” my mother would say, also fed up with my heightened sense of sympathy and empathy for so much and so many people and animals.  “This is life.  This is what happens in it and you’re never going to survive unless you learn to toughen up.”

Grow a thicker skin and toughen up.  Hmmmm.

Try as I might, I couldn’t simply “toughen up” and always wondered what the hell she meant by “grow a thicker skin”.

It wasn’t until more recently that I had run myself ragged, trying to help everyone I could help that something snapped in me and I realized that something had to change.  A friend of mine was joking around about how much I’d done for her.  Inadvertently, she let the reality of things out of the bag.

“Ha!” she said, while I reeled on about my upset at a family member for having done the things she’d done to me in spite of me having nearly stood on my head for her.  “Everyone knows that all we have to do is to show you a few tears or tell you a sob story and you’ll turn the 4 corners of the earth inside out.”

There it was.  There was another “Jesus Christ moment” coming from someone else’s mouth other than my father’s but, it was also one of the most awakening moments I’ve had.  I had thin skin and everyone else knew it, including my own daughter who had twisted me into a pretzel, trying to please and take care of her needs and was trying it yet again.

My husband has long since grown tired of me screaming, “stop the car” as I’ve leapt out of the vehicle before he could stop it fully, in order to help someone on the sidewalk or side of the road where dozens of other people surrounding them, had been ignoring the person in trouble.  He’s sighed in disbelief as I’ve spotted a look on someone’s face that told me the person was distraught and leaped in, head first to asking them if they were ok then, proceeded in helping them out no matter what it took to do it.  One day, my broad ability to spot troubled people took the form of an all day stint, keeping an elderly man with dementia occupied while an already over-burdened police department tried to get officers dispatched to take over.  The man had been missing for an entire day, leaving behind a deeply upset and worried wife and daughter.  All that I could think of was that had he been my father, grandfather or elderly husband, how would I want someone to take care of him? I did what I felt was appropriate, buying him lunch and engaging him in a conversation until police and paramedics arrived several hours later.  Of course, my partner in crime, my husband, simply goes along with me now because he knows that I’m the way that I am and am not going to give up on helping others.  I can’t.  I haven’t grown that thicker skin that my mother talked about when I was younger.

I am getting better with this now.  I’m using my head more than my emotions.  Most of that lesson though, has had to come from a series of kicks in the rear end through helping.  As my grandmother used to try to tell me, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”.  How true that saying is.  I’ve been kicked and punched while trying to help.  I’ve lost favourite sweaters by covering someone with mine.  People have dumped everything on me from their woes and troubles to things that they simply don’t want to do themselves.  I’ve been walked away from and left like a used dish rag (quite literally) and I’ve known that people have wiped their feet on me while walking off into the sunset after having gotten what they needed and wanted from me, never hearing from them again.  I now recognize that people are out to look after Number One…themselves so, I help less than I used to.  I can also see where I’m taking on things that are not mine to deal with and am being used and abused.  That’s where I’m drawing a line and stopping in my tracks, much to my husband’s delight and relief.

My father died at the age of 65 with advanced bladder cancer.  My mother died at the age of 54 with a malignant and rare form of brain tumour.  My brother died in 2011 at the age of 53 after a fall at work where he suffered irreversible and massive brain injuries.  I miss them all terribly and I will likely never be over their losses.  That much, I think is understandable for most people.  However, while part of me left with all 3 of them, I am still here and still learning to grown that thicker skin.  More than anything, I have learned that I am not Jesus Christ and cannot heal the masses.  I am an ordinary human being who is what is considered to be “a highly sensitive person”.  I will likely always be extremely empathetic as well.  However, god-dammit…even Jesus had temper tantrums and upturned tables at times.  I am due for some of that.

I may be overly emotional still.  I may not have grown a thick enough skin even to this day.  People may still be saying “Jesus Christ” in a disbelieving way when I leap in with both feet but, I would much rather be this way at times than those who would pass by a person in need like a robot on course who will not feel enough to even contemplate stopping to help someone in trouble.  I’d much rather be the person I am even if I do have to turn down the volume on caring a bit more to save my own sanity as I am getting older now too.

From my little corner of life, I’d rather be a Jesus Christ with a thinner skin than an unfeeling robot.  That’s just me though and I’m not likely to fully change anytime soon.

 

 

 

 

It’s A Wonderful Life When You’re On Facebook

Does Facebook make you feel as though your life isn't as good as everyone else's?

Does Facebook make you feel as though your life isn’t as good as everyone else’s?

Have you ever felt like your life sucks and everyone else’s is somehow the epitome of perfection while going through your home feeds on Facebook?  Everyone’s lives look happy, rose coloured and feel like it needs a sound track with birds chirping, people skipping and singing.  Your “friends” are all posting photos of perfect children and grandchildren, parties, dinners, vacations, selfies with groups in beautiful places.  Suddenly, your life feels like it’s gone to hell in a hand-basket and you’re wondering what you’re doing wrong because your world now seems small.

Let me assure you of one thing here.  Facebook isn’t reality.

Here’s a few things you should know that should help make you look at Facebook a little differently.

 “Bullshit Artists”

If you’ve ever felt like your life sucks because your Facebook friends all seem to be doing something exciting or, because they seem to have themselves and their lives together, you can stop right there.  Your life is really no different than theirs.  The only thing that differs is that they’ve taken and posted a few more selfies than you have and they’re just better at how they present themselves and their lives.  They’ve learned the art of taking photos of bagels with cream cheese with their cell phones and giving it a grandiose story to go with it.  They’ve bypassed all that’s going wrong in their lives in favour of posting jokes or being inventive in how they’ve phrased their status updates.  They’ve created ways to present ordinary, everyday events and make it seem like they’re part of Dirty Dancing and are having the time of their lives.  In other words, they’ve become “Bullshit Artists” and you haven’t mastered it quite as well.

Avoiding The Negatives In Their Lives 

Not many people go onto Facebook and admit that their lives are filled with crap.  Social media is a venue whereby, people present their lives as though they don’t have a problem in the world.  After all, how many people go onto Facebook to read about everyone else’s problems?  By being selective as to what they post, people can make their lives look happy and themselves, well adjusted.  It’s what they don’t post that tells you the other half or more of their stories.

How many people have you seen whose walls look like they came out of a Normal Rockwell painting but, have talked to them in private or over the phone and know that they’re not at all happy in their lives?  If you haven’t seen that, drop those people a line or two in a private message or via email.  Pick up the phone and call them or, invite them to meet you for coffee one day if you live close enough to one another.  If you’re perceptive enough, you’ll get the gist that their lives just aren’t what they seem on Facebook.  That’s a guarantee because no one is without problems.  They have simply avoided posting the negatives in their lives on Facebook.

Happy Friends And Family 

The ultimate measure of a person’s life would appear to be the smiling faces and sheer numbers of people in a person’s life.  One could be envious of those who seem to have endless family, friends and happy smiles in photos on Facebook.  It could make those who are less family and friend endowed, feel as though they’ve somehow failed in Life because they have few photos to post of themselves with family and friends by comparison.  However, if you were able to listen to the storied behind the multitude of people who seem to grace their lives, you’d also find a plethora of gripes, groans, moans and complaints about those same people who are beaming with teeth showing through those smiles.  You would also find that there’s been tears, fears, worries, headaches and rejections that go along with all of those faces in those photos.  Never judge a relationship by their smiles in photos.  No one’s family is that happy and no friendship comes without issues.  No one goes un-talked about in a negative light.  Nothing is what it seems in those captured moments of what appears like total bliss.

Party On, Dudes

It’s Saturday night and you’re sitting at home, in front of your computer, looking at Facebook while dozens of photos and status updates come through on the Home Feeds of people out, dancing, drinking or seemingly, having fun.  Where’s your fun?  Why are you at home while everyone else seems to be out with others, enjoying themselves?  What are you doing wrong?

Everyone at some point, gets time out of the house to be with others or, you have someone or several people over to your place.  It may not be every weekend and it may not be with large groups of people but, the truth is, you’ve gone out too.  The difference is, these people have an obsession with turning every moment that they’re out, into a photo-op to post to Facebook and you haven’t done that but, they have.  They will grab every opportunity to grab a photo of the people around them and with them.  Some people in their photos, they’ve just met through other people or, they’ve learned to get people into photos by hamming it up and turning it into a joke.  Are their entire evenings like that?  Likely not.

If you’d like to have photos to post to your wall, wait until you’re with at least one other person, at home or out and get “goofy” while snapping pictures of those moments and posting them to Facebook.  Add a caption about what a great visit or time you had to it and post them.  You too, will have instant Party Time that looks great on any Facebook wall.

EXAMPLE Status:

“Emily and I out having a great afternoon”

foto2

Turning Ordinary Everyday Events Into Something News Worthy 

People in Facebookland have also learned how to turn even the most mundane of daily things into something worthy of posting on Facebook.  It fills in a lot of gaps in their lives that would normally be left gaping holes were it not for how they made it look somehow glamorous.

Take this photo for instance.

spaghetti-sauce-007

Ok, it’s a photo of a pot of pasta or spaghetti sauce.  It’s nothing special.  We all have our favourite recipes or we’re really good at opening a jar and throwing it into a pot to heat up, right?

The above is true but, in Facebookland, it’s no ordinary pot of sauce that you’ve made (store bought or homemade or not…remember, it’s what you omit that makes the story seem interesting).  This is your masterpiece and you’re happy about it.  Try adding that photo to your Facebook wall as a status and add in what was happening or what you were doing or who was around you at the time you were making it.  Talk about something else that you accomplished during the day before you made that sauce or what you’re going to watch on tv after you’ve had it and suddenly…you have a life!

This photo could be posted to your wall with a status update like:

“Yummy!  My freshly made pasta sauce to go with garlic bread for dinner tonight. I’m looking forward to curling up with my favourite pyjamas, a blanket and binge watching Sons of Anarchy on Crave TV tonight.”  

Suddenly, not only do you have something good to eat but, you’re a good cook and have a well planned, cozy evening to look forward to.

It’s all tricks.  It’s all omissions.  It’s all just how you present yourself and your life that makes your life feel, seem and be fuller if that’s what you’re into and want to do.

If not, just realize that no one’s life is as lopsidedly good as what it appears on Facebook.  Everyone has lonely moments, cries, has problems, fights with friends and family, nowhere to go and no one to go with.  You’re not failing at Life anymore than anyone else is nor, is your life worse than anyone else’s for the most part.  You’re ok.  Facebook can simply make it seem like you’re not and cause a lot of depression in people if you’re not of the right frame of mind and seeing it for what it is….non-reality based life.