Is Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) The Youtube Sensation Really What He Portrays On His Videos

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As a blog writer, it’s quite fascinating to watch your stats every day.  There’s an entire wealth of information that comes from those figures.  They tell you not only how many people read your blog daily but, also what they read, what they search for on search engines and how much they read of your blog.  Did you know that information is readily available to those who both blog or write articles for newspapers and other sites as well as YouTube video makers and even Facebook pages?  There’s little that one can do on the net that isn’t being tracked by someone, somehow, somewhere.  Even your IP address is being recorded everywhere you go on the net.

Frankly, my concern as a writer is what people are interested in and want to know more about.  Search terms, searches, search engines, countries’ views etc., all play an important part in what I write and why I write what I do.  I want to give people what they are wanting versus telling readers what I had for breakfast or what I did in a day.  Facebook personal walls suffice for that purpose.

More recently, I began to write about a certain YouTube sensation, Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep).  At first, I was hooked in like the many subscribers that Smart has amassed over the 4 or 5 years that he’s been making videos on his channel.  It was only after a while of binge watching his videos that I began to see something in him and his videos that set off alarm bells within me and I stopped watching him, unsubscribing from his channel.  That’s when, out of curiosity, I began doing research into Smart and what I found gave me a larger picture of who this person was and what his true motives likely are versus what comes out of his mouth in his videos.

I began writing what I had found on Smart, my own opinions on it all as well as giving soft warnings to those who are most vulnerable.  Much to my surprise, hundreds of people per day were pouring in to read what I had written about him, having done their own searches on him.  It proved to me that people wanted to know more about Smart than what he was giving them.  Some of the terms that people were using in their quest for more information were also showing me that there are many people out there who are questioning Smart’s veracity as a psychologist and whether or not he’s a fraud.  I obviously wasn’t the only one who heard those alarm bells.  More thinking people had opened up their minds to other possibilities than what they were seeing and hearing from him on his daily videos on YouTube.

Of course, Smart has carefully chosen to hide his net tracks.  There’s not a lot one can find on Smart without having your own sources and digging deeply enough while thinking outside of his box or the one he wants to have you in with him.  Information can be found on him but, it takes dedication and endurance to find it.  It’s akin to putting together a puzzle with pieces being hidden on the floor beneath the table and not knowing where to look.  Sources I followed through with, helped my research to find them sooner than others would have found them, thankfully.

During that time frame, I had written several pieces on Smart as people kept coming in by the hundreds daily, seeking out information on him.  However, his devout fans were less than happy that someone would not like Infinite Waters and his spiels, wasting no time in letting me know that much.  They also felt the need to do an armchair version of psychoanalysis on me as a person having read only one or so pieces I’d written and only on the topic of Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep) on which to form what they believed was the truth about me and put together a crude, rude and lewd personality profile of me.  Sadly, they were so far off the mark that it was pathetic but, laughable for the most part.  A lot of comments were un-publishable, let alone un-answerable because they were simply cursing and swearing or so crudely formatted that no other human eyes would want to read them lest my pieces be considered X-Rated.  I’d simply trash them and go on with my day.

As time went by, more and more of these obviously distressed, delusional and immature individuals filled my in-box with their pitiful attempts to psychoanalyze me but more to the point, express their trepidations that someone was writing something unfavourable about Mr. Smart.  What they didn’t know was the fact that the more they commented in such a distasteful manner, the more that they were proving my points about how much good Smart and his daily videos were doing for people.  It was apparent that though these people were defending what they considered was Smart’s ingenious, enlightening and brilliant pieces, they weren’t exactly soaking it in or, what Smart was spewing out daily, made no difference or even sense to them.  In other words, Smart wasn’t working the magic that they proclaimed he was working for them.

Near the end of January of this year, I tired of hearing the same old and worn out comments from Smart Defenders as they made no sense and were simply foul-mouthed or anger riddled, derogatory remarks that I’d simply have to move to the trash bucket on the server.  I put up a note on each of my entries that I was no longer approving, reading nor, responding to any comments on those pieces.  However, that didn’t sit well with me in that approach either.  It was only after what one can consider the last straw on the camel’s back that I decided I’d had enough of these types of comments and the foul-mouthed commenters and I deleted all except 2 of my pieces that I wrote about Smart.  I’d simply had enough of the negativity pouring out of these less than intelligent people on a daily basis and tired of deleting the comments that were too disgraceful to publish and later, all comments.

Thankfully, I didn’t take anything that they said, personally in spite of the fact that they were oftentimes, degrading me as a person, not even knowing me.  Actually, I was quite amused and had a few good laughs at what they had built into their own bitter delusions.  However, it dawned on me a couple of days ago that what these commenters were truly proving was that I was right about Smart all along.  These very commenters had done the work for me.  They had literally and unwittingly, proven my points for me about Smart’s work and how it affects people, right there in their annoyed, bitter, enraged and deranged comments or diatribes.  Though I still couldn’t publish most of them due to their bawdy and smuttily worded nature, I recognized that Smart supporters were doing a wonderful job of promoting what not to watch or who not to follow in this case.  They were in effect, telling others, what one becomes from watching Smart and what little good Smart’s plethora of videos and advice truly has on people and their minds.  I didn’t have to do anything.  I only have to publish these comments to prove my points.  At least, those that were fit for the human eye, anyway.

It has also occurred to me through watching the trend in search terms that more and more people are now questioning Smart and whether or not he’s legit or a fraud to some extent or another.  At the least, they are in search of more information on him than what Smart has given them or is giving to them.  There’s reason why people like Smart are extremely careful to cover their tracks and only give out what information that they want you to know but, nothing else.  Think about that for a second.  Has it processed through your mind and thinking that anyone who has nothing to hide, will offer up more about themselves than what they will keep hidden?  While some of you might be saying, “but he’s a private person” (perhaps, with explicatives added to that statement), you might want to question that a bit further and more deeply.  For those who are saying, “we know all we need to know about him and it’s all for free”, ask yourself one question, “really?”  Do you really know Ralph Smart based upon his videos and is it really free or is he making money off of your free viewing?  You might be surprised at the answers if you’re being truly honest with yourself.

Yes, Smart has a calming, charming presence on camera in those videos.  What he says during them is also what people want to hear but, he knows that much.  He’s learned it and he’s “acting” for the camera and for you.  He’s saying what you want to hear to keep you hooked on watching. There’s also reason why he’s careful to only let you know what he wants you to know.  You’re not going to find much about him on the net other than what he wants out there.  While some of you are likely saying, “that’s wise to not let out anything personal about yourself on the net”, ask yourself if you can be assured that he’s not created pseudo-names or other nicks or aliases that you’d never know were him.  After all, isn’t that possible?  If you’re still saying “no…there’s no way…Smart is too busy (as he’d say), ‘helping others’ to have the time to do that,” ask yourself if you can prove that to yourself or not.  You don’t need to prove it to me but, you do need to do some real questioning if you’re not questioning him at all. Can any human being always be happy, smiling, calm, not upset?  No.  There’s your answer right there.  Smart isn’t either but, you’re not going to see that in him because he doesn’t want you to see it.  He wants you to believe that he’s found the fountain of eternal happiness.  He hasn’t found it.  He simply portrays that he has for the 20 or so minutes you’ll see him in one of video-a-day videos that he creates.  I can stay smiling and positive for that long.  Everyone can do it.  Smart hasn’t found the answers to Life or the meaning to it anymore than you have.  Trust in that and stop believing that if you watch enough of his videos and follow everything he says, you will.  You won’t.

From my little corner of life, there’s more to a person than appearances will give on the net.  You cannot form a conclusion (either good or bad) based upon what they are saying out here in cyber space.  That goes for me as well.  You don’t know me.  You couldn’t possibly know me and frankly, you don’t know Ralph Smart either no matter how calm he makes you feel.  He’s not who he portrays himself to be in those videos to the world.  He’s a marketer who is out to make money and perhaps, has convinced himself that he’s “helping millions” by doing so.

Have a great day or evening.  Blessings, stay well, Love and Light.

 

 

Helping Can Become An Addiction Or An Escape

Helping others is a noble cause and more often than not, people need and want help to some extent or another but, when it becomes a habit within oneself it’s no longer about helping but, rather an outward expression of how one is feeling about themselves internally.

There’s a pay-off for chronic helpers in many ways but, there are two main reasons why people can get caught up in a vicious help cycle and it can become an addiction.  For some people, helping is like needing a “fix”.

Help Addictions can become an escape method.

Help Addictions can become an escape method.

 First, chronic helping can help us divert our attention away from dealing with something within either ourselves or our lives.  In other words, instead of working on what ails us and our own lives, we have the excuse, “I never get around to taking care of that because I am so busy helping (fill in the blanks here).  It can become an escape or an excuse or both and, that stops us from having to deal with our own issues.

Secondly, it can become a method by which we try to feel loved, wanted and, or needed by others.  If we are helping others, they will like us, thank us and want us around them type thinking.

In either case above, the chronic helper is not quite as healthy or altruistic as one might believe.  Even on a subconscious level, possibly totally unbeknownst to us, there’s something in it for those of us who do it.

It took a long time for me to get the idea that helping others is no guarantee of being loved, liked or wanted nor, is it truly an escape from having to fix what is going wrong within ourselves or our own lives.

I endured a lot of hurt, rejection and internal feelings of inadequacy, driving me even more towards more helping…until I realized that the source of my pain was actually coming from my chronic feeling the need to help.  I wasn’t feeling good anymore about it but rather, it was bringing me more pain.

Why?  That was the question I had to ask myself and I went in search of answers with a shocking set of revelations.

Helping Too Much Can Cause Rejection From Others 

Contrary to popular belief, what is called “Karma” doesn’t exactly work the way that one would think or hope that it should.  Doing good doesn’t alway bring good into your life.

Helping others can actually drive people away from you.  Here are several different reasons how and why.

  • People like what you DO for them, not necessarily, you.
  • The people that you help on a regular basis will eventually get used to you doing for them and therefore, come to see your help as your “job”. At that point, your help is no longer truly appreciated but, they become complacent and expect that type of behaviour from you.
  • Those you have helped often enough, will eventually show a vulnerability within  themselves to you and the last person that they want around them are those who know their weaknesses. They will seek out others who aren’t aware of them being weak in any way especially, during the good times in their lives.
  • Chronic helping can lead others to see you as a doormat.  When you are readily and frequently ready to help them, people can come to feel that you have no life of your own so, they no longer respect your time, energy or effort.  In effect, it’s like they’re doing you a favour by giving you something to do with your days, time and energy.
  • Being available and giving to them on a regular basis, without return expectation or as a constant set of favours, gives the impression that you have no boundaries.  If you have none, why should they respect you.  People like and respect people who like and respect themselves.
  • Your help can be resented because the person tends to feel constantly indebted even if only on a subconscious level and without you having indicated that you expected anything in return.  No one likes feeling continually indebted to someone else.

Ways To Deal With The Need To Chronic Help

  • Ask yourself what you are getting out of helping others.  You’re getting something out of doing this. Is it that “feel good feeling”?  If so, you might need to break that feeling down a bit further.
  • Helping others makes us all feel good but, doing it on a regular or chronic basis, may be becoming a a “drug” of sorts to numb or squash what ails you and your life.
  • Ask yourself what it is that is going on within yourself or your life that gives you the longing for this “drug”.  Is it approval, love, companionship, being needed, wanted, or even wanting people to feel indebted to you to in order to keep their loyalty.
  • Are you avoiding fixing issues within your own life and using helping others as an excuse as to why you can’t get to repairing what is wrong?
  • Could you be feeling guilty that someone else is in trouble of some kind and you’re soothing your own feelings of guilt for being ok in your own life in some way?
  • Are you too empathetic and over-identifying with other people?
  • Once you’ve weeded through the possible causes that keep you hooked on being a Chronic Helper, you can take action towards halting your need for over-helping.

Breaking The Cycle And Why You Should

The “warm and fuzzys” that we all feel when we get “thank you’s” from others is a great feeling.  We all love to feel good about ourselves, appreciated, needed and wanted.  It’s part of human nature and helping others is a good thing but, only when done in moderation and for the right reasons.  When we do it to garner love, attention, affection, being needed, wanted, liked or to avoid facing our own demons/quelling them, we are putting ourselves into a position to be used, abused, hurt and rejected.  Here are some points to help.

  1. Once you have identified the reason that you feel the need to chronically help.  STOP and listen to yourself and your inner voice.
  2. People like and respect people who like and respect themselves. We teach others how to treat us.  If you’re not respecting yourself, your time or your energy, they won’t either.  Put up boundaries and conditions for yourself and others.  Stop yourself before you try to help and place a value upon your help for them and yourself.
  3. Limit the amount of time that you’re going to help and what you will do to help.  Remember, their lives are NOT your responsibility (unless you’re a caregiver for a child, infirm or elderly person/pet.  Even then, give yourself time for yourself and respect your own needs too).
  4. If you’re doing it because you want to be liked, loved, appreciated, wanted, needed, are lonely or anything along those lines, this isn’t the way to get any of that for more than a couple of times.  Remember, people start loving what you can do for them, not you, after awhile. You’re working against getting those needs met by attempting to achieve it via chronic helping.
  5. Ask for something in return for your help if it’s more than once or twice. People respect help more when it’s being paid for in some way or another and they’ll respect you for it too.
  6. If you love that warm and fuzzy feeling helping gives you, volunteer!  There are charities all over the world and all sorts of opportunities to help others in organized, time-limited ways where you can get that feeling but be cut off in appropriate and healthy amounts.  Don’t volunteer more than what is being asked for either.
  7. Remember that sometimes, chronic helpers actually push their help on others..even when it’s not wanted.  When someone says, “it’s ok”…trust them.  It’s ok.  They don’t want or need your help.  Save yourself some heartache and possibly nasty feelings from others.  Back off and let them do it themselves.
  8. WAIT to be asked for help then, ask yourself what it will cost you to help them.  If it’s only once in a long while that you’re being asked and it’s not taking away from you, do it but, don’t anticipate everyone’s possible needs and offer it up on a silver platter.
  9. Remember that some people like being in certain predicaments and don’t want to get out of them.  When you recognize that in someone, back off. Let them be where they are.  They are getting something out of being there. Let them have it and figure it out for themselves.
  10. You’re not the only fish in the sea who can help.  Realize that and recognize that everyone has lessons to learn in one way or another.  Some people need to learn how to help themselves and others need to learn how to help others.  Let people learn what they need to learn.  You’re not a deity nor, omnipotent. Everyone needs to learn something, somehow.  Even children need to fall, get burned, hurt, lost etc., to learn what NOT to do and what to do.  Don’t take away their learning curves from them.

The Meddler, The Dupe And The Martyr

Lastly, think to yourself as having been labelled for helping others too much.  A lot of people will look at those who are chronic helpers as either “The Meddler”, “The Dupe” or “The Martyr”.

When people help too much, they often know a lot about the person’s personal life and, when not wanted, it turns you into a meddling position in their minds.  They can see you as someone who wants into their minds and lives especially, if you’re pushing your help onto them.

The Dupe is the one that people often think of as “good ole so-and-so” and often follow that with an “I’ll get her/him to do it!”  That’s when you’ve become nothing more than a doormat for them.  You don’t mean anything to them other than as a vehicle to get their needs met.  They’ll be off with other friends or family for lunch, dinner and shows who have done little, if anything for them while you’re left scratching your head, wondering why.  You’ve been “duped”.

The Martyr is the person who does so much for everyone else that others are reminded (whether you do it or not) that they’ve done a lot for that person or many.  Guilt sets in that they’ve allowed you to do it all for them and suddenly, they’re feeling inferior or as though you’re superior to them.  No one likes to be around people who make them feel that way whether intentionally or through their own inner thoughts and feelings.  You’re out of any of the good times or any lasting, healthy, fun and good relationship with them if you continue on with it.

Learn to love yourself.  Help yourself first.  Put your own oxygen mask on first.  To thine own self be true.  Charity begins at home.  Old but, wise pieces of advice to take. Take care of you first and others will follow suit with you.

I’m not a trained professional of any kind so, this is just how I’m seeing things from my little corner of life through experience and learning.